Wordbirds, 58

AT LAST—We’ve now commenced our third—and final—journey through Webster’s 3rd. This time, I’m picking a word near the middle of each entry for each letter—a word that interests me for some reason or a word I’d not ever known before—and surrounding it with a frayed coat of doggerel.

Words that flew into my life from Webster’s 3rd

fleam noun

a sharp lancet formerly used for much bloodletting

The thought came to him in a dream:

He’d make his living with a fleam!

Oh, he’d see blood flow—in a stream!

And so he posted on the net:

“I’ve got a fleam—your blood I’ll let!”

Oh, soon I will be rich, I bet.

But life did not cooperate.

It seemed he had an unplanned date

With dreaded, midnight-headed Fate.

He felt a fever rushing in—

Oh, would he never, ever win?

He tried some whiskey, tried some gin,

But still felt awful. Grabbed his fleam

And sliced a vein (just like his dream).

Then realized he had to scream!

It hurt so much, that slender slice—

He said, “That doesn’t feel so nice!

A fleam’s not worth it—any price.”

An aspirin cured his fevered brow,

And he works for McDonald’s now—

Is happy with the job, the chow.

At night he sips some old Jim Beam

And eats a sundae (much whipped cream)

And works to find another scheme.