Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Deathwords, XXI

Sleepy George

George was a narcoleptic—he
Could sleep in any space.
He was not inconvenienced by
His final resting place.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Deathwords, XX

Coke and a (Final) Smile

Eugene, who dealt some coke, I hear,
Was quickly caught and cuffed.
A prison convict pillowed him,
So poor Eugene was snuffed.

Monday, December 29, 2014

Deathwords, XIX

Old Duane and a Slice of Life

Old Duane was a butcher who kept his aim high:
All his meat was organic and local and fresh,
But our poor Old Duane one day fell on his knife,
So Duane sadly traveled the way of all flesh.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Deathwords, XVIII

Ralph’s Final Cough

At the church so near the cliff, Ralph
Uttered such a shocked cough,
He and all the congregation
Suddenly were knocked off.

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Deathwords, XVII

The Last Ride of Billy the Kid

And so Billy the Kid, who was deadly and young,
Was adept with a knife and a gun (oh, of course!),
But Pat Garrett shot Billy one night in the back,
So the Kid had no choice but to ride the pale horse.

Friday, December 26, 2014

Deathwords, XVI

The Ace Gambler

The gambler loved his poker games—
But cheating he embraced,
So I was not all all surprised
To hear that he’d been aced. 

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Deathwords, XV

 Anna Pest, the Shocking Plumber

Yes, she was (in her age) a great plumber, well known
Far and wide for her wisdom, her skill, and her brain.
Electricity got her—a wire in the wet—
And the plumber—poor woman—then circled the drain. 

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Deathwords, XIV

The baker there in Naples bragged—
He really loved to boast.
“I’ll tight-rope ’cross Vesuvius!”
The next thing: He was toast.

Monday, December 22, 2014

Deathwords, XIII

Old Tom was an announcer, who
Had such an unkind cough
That soon he did not breathe at all
And quietly signed off. 

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Deathwords, XII

Louisa feared both slime and dirt—
Oh, all those filthy germs!
And now she’s lying underground,
Forever counting worms. 

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Deathwords, XI

Cornelius spent his life with wire—
It was, of course, rewarding toil.
He fell into a fiery vat
And shuffled off this mortal coil. 

Friday, December 19, 2014

Deathwords, X

Old Thomas was a farmer who
Just gnashed his teeth and cussed.
The gods, perturbed, then silenced him
And watched him bite the dust.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Deathwords, IX

Terry was a carpenter, who
Noted every detail.
Then he fell—a tablesaw!—was
Dead as any doornail.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Deathwords VIII: Duane's Retirement

Duane was a librarian
Who would not be retired,
But Death one day acquired his card
And marked it: “Now expired.”

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Deathwords VII: Daisy, Daisy ...

Deathwords VII: Daisy, Daisy

Daisy Smith and Daisy Jones—oh,
Both of them were crazies:
Soon the Reaper found them both, and
Now they push up daisies. 

Monday, December 15, 2014

Deathwords VI: Sue's Breath

A breathing competition. Sue
Had won it in the past.
But this time in the finals, well,
Poor Susan breathed her last. 

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Deathwords V: Bella's Fatal Choice

Once, Bella was dear Casper’s friend—
She loved that shade the most,
But she met Edward Cullen, and
At once gave up the ghost. 

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Deathwords IV: Bob's Misfortune

Bob’s Misfortune

Bob loved to play draw poker, so
He made some Vegas trips—
But tried to cheat some gangsters there
And cashed in all his chips.

Friday, December 12, 2014

Titus' Ill Luck

Titus’ Ill Luck

Titus was a clumsy guy—he
Had such rotten luck; it
Turned: He found a milking job, but
Then he kicked the bucket.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Adele's Lament

Adele’s Lament

Adele fell for a fellow—she
Was smitten by his charm.
They looked at rural property,
But then he bought the farm.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

In My Yard

In My Yard

I found a tiny magic frog—
And I was really stoked.
I held it in my hand and dreamed,
But then—oh no!—he croaked!