Friday, July 31, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 33



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Skeeter Meter

So Skeeter was a skinny guy—
As thin as any comic book.
He liked red drinks—and loved to fly—
And had a sort of buggy look. 

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 32



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Cat Burglar

The burglar was superlative—
Accumulating stunning wealth.
Like royalty he chose to live—
And all was due to feline stealth.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 31



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Mickey’s Mouse

Sad Mickey had some problems with
Some vermin—yes, a mouse.
I told him he should try to keep
A much less ratty house.

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 30



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Eve Hisses*

When Adam was upset with Eve,
He knew he dared not cross the line:
She’d grumble, then she’d cry and grieve,
“Why can't you be more colubrine?!”

*thanks to my word-a-day calendar for this one


Monday, July 27, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 29



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Face It, Frankie

So I heard about Frankie while out at the bar,
Which, you know, is a dangerous place.
Yes, the women I talked to were somewhat alarmed
By poor Frankie’s most ferrety face.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Fauna Foolery, No. 28



Animal adjectives we apply to people.


A Sense of Smell

Poor Pepe was obtuse, you know,
And could not take a hint.
I warned the dude repeatedly
About his skunky scent.

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 27



Animal adjectives we apply to people.


Owl Say
Although he looked so scholarly,
So erudite and keen,
It mostly was his glasses—and
His owlish sort of mien. 

Friday, July 24, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 26



Animal adjectives we apply to people.


Jonah Insists

Old Jonah said, “While in that fish,
I saw some squid and snails!”
But skeptics merely scoffed and said,
“You and your piscine tales!”

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 25



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Kerm’s Appeal

The princess was entranced by Kerm—
But not by other guys.
She really liked his swimming skills—
And loved those froggy eyes!

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 24



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Kay Flops

Miss Kay was one of nine, you know,
And single many years.
So many men disliked, I guess,
Her floppy, canine ears. 

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 23



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Stubborn Stu

So stubborn and intransigent—
He was so foolish. Why?
We all decided Stu was just
A troubled, mulish guy. 

Monday, July 20, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 22



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Outfoxed

So many things about Rey Foxx
She was disturbed about:
His sneakiness, his chicken feasts,
And, yes, his vulpine snout.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 21



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Frozen Marriage

Marriage grew so cold for Pete—so
Cold he felt quite bluish.
All his fault, though: He had told his
Wife (Kate) she was shrewish. 

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 20



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

The Eagle Cries

“You stole my beak!” the eagle cried—
“My patented design!”
“It’s just my nose,” I softly said.
“We call it ‘aquiline.’”

Friday, July 17, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 19



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Mean Count

Dracula just called me names—he
Called me “Jerk” and “Fatty.”
I got sick of all of it and
Told him he was batty. 

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 18



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

18. In the Arms of Boyd

Louise’s boyfriend liked to grope.
She cried, “Just stop it, Boyd!
I swear, you’ve got so many hands
That you seem octopoid!”

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 17



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

17. Brenda Gets Sideways

Brenda really hated it when
Robert called her “Flabby.”
All throughout ensuing days it
Made her act so crabby.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 16



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Yogi’s Wife Can “Barely” Stand It

Some things about old Yogi just
About caused her to yell—
His honey stains, his winter sleeps,
And, yes, his ursine smell. 

Monday, July 13, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 15



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Critics of Karl

Karl Kong was always criticized—
It was the latest craze:
He was too big; he ate too much;
He had such apish ways!

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 14



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Neigh

Bobby longed to play trombone with
Tom or Jimmy Dorsey.
But he failed the physical: His
Looks were just too horsy. 

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 13



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Frankly

When Frank first caught a tiger fish,
It was his very fondest wish.
He grilled and ate this fishy dish—
Then roared and felt so tigerish. 

Friday, July 10, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 12



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Prince Notso Charming

The Prince preferred a darkened room—
Or any foggy place.
And he avoided mirrors: He
Despised his froggy face. 

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 11



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Elsie’s Existential Angst

Poor Elsie’s life was full of rules—
Of do’s and should’s and ought’s.
And Elsie’s boyfriend, Elmer, could
Not stand such cowish thoughts. 

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 10



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Tad’s Trouble

Tad was a tad concupiscent—
Throughout his nights and days.
It took Pure Love to cure Tad of
His somewhat goatish ways. 

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 9



Animal adjectives that we apply to people.

Feline Frankness

Kitty had a cruel streak—and
Once she called me, “Fatty!”
No one really understood why
Kitty was so catty. 

Monday, July 6, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 8



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Mort’s Meals

Mort loved his roadkill—stopped to take
The pieces that were fine.
He saved some money—that I’ll grant—
But somewhat vulturine?

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 7



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Not a Peep from Bo

Bo didn't want to hear a peep
From girls like Beverly,
But then Bev smiled, and smitten Bo
Behaved more sheepishly. 

Saturday, July 4, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 6



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Kay (Nine)

Some thought neat Kay, child nine of nine,
Drank from a stubborn creek.
But she was just determined—yes,
She had a dogged streak. 

Friday, July 3, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 5



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Fell Smell

Then Izaak took a deeper breath—
The man could so inhale
Before he told his friends—again—
A very fishy tale. 

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 4



Animal adjectives we apply to people.

Petruchio v. Katherine in The Taming of the Shrew

“If I be waspish, best beware my sting”—
So Kate declares. It seems she knows a thing
Or two about a man—or so she thought.
Petruchio will teach her she knows naught.
But he knows even less, to tell the truth,
About a woman. He is so uncouth
That several Acts must pass before he learns
That Love survives because of what it earns.
So by Act V the two of them, now wed,
Have settled all—and rush away to bed. 

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Fauna Foolery II, No. 3



Animal adjectives we apply to people.


Stubborn Don

Don Key was very stubborn—was
It all his astral sign?
Whatever caused it, we all thought
He was so asinine.