Sunday, May 31, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 22



Animal nouns we use as verbs.


Goose on the Loose

The goose escaped--annoyed Reynard,
Who did not want it loose,
Rey lured it back with druggy seeds—
Thus Rey out-foxed the goose.

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 21



Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Thief Relief

Exterminator Tony was
The thief, there was no doubt.
So colleague Taylor, noticing,
Soon ratted Tony out. 

Friday, May 29, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 20



Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Mickey’s Mousing

The final chocolate cookie was
There on the window ledge,
But Mickey—curse his murine soul!—
Had moused around its edge. 

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 19



Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Hairy Tale

Old Porky had so little hair
He chose to go get wigged.
But at the picnic people laughed,
So pissed-off Porky pigged. 

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 18



Animal nouns we use as verbs.


Not a Faint Complaint

The restaurant was expensive, but
My entrée? Barely cooked.
And so I told the maître d’:
“I think that I've been rooked!”

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 17



Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Not in My Cups at the Auction

To me the golden chalice looked
To be a phony cup,
And so—despite temptation—I
Refused to pony up. 

Monday, May 25, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 16



Animal nouns we use as verbs.

By the Surprising Shore

The shorebird—very, very rare—
Stood posing by the sea.
And Ichabod, so dazzled, stopped,
And craned his neck to see. 

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 15



Animal nouns we use as verbs.


Bugs, Reading

So, reading Sinclair Lewis, Bugs
Was feeling fully Babbitted.
“There’s Elmer Fudd! He’s got a gun!”
So Bugs hopped up and rabbited. 

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 14



Animal nouns we use as verbs.

A Lot of Bull

T. Orro had no subtlety—
Not that he ever tried.
If he saw doors were shut and locked,
He bulled his way inside. 

Friday, May 22, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 13



Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Byrd Song

So, Richard Byrd was so displeased—
He nearly had a fit.
The polar world was much too cold,
And so Byrd groused a bit. 

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 12



Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Sucker

“I don’t care who you are,” I said.
“And though I hate to preach:
You borrow and you borrow—you’ve
Perfected how to leech!”

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 11



Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Too-Tall Ballgame

He loomed above us—very tall.
Repeatedly, he dunked.
And when the game was over, we
Knew why we just got skunked. 

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 10



Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Big Bird

The bird was huge—gigantic. There
Was no way to ignore him.
And then he landed next to me,
And I just quailed before him.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 9


Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Fate’s Arrival in a Dodge

I was driving in my truck
When Fate arose and damned me.
I saw another truck approach—
And then it really rammed me.

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 8



Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Skeeter-Meter

Skeeter wanted to be friends—he
Always cried and hugged me.
I just couldn't like him, though—cuz
Skeeter really bugged me.

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 7



Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Stephen and His Birds

Stephen’s with his hunting birds, and
While we two are talking,
I just ask him, "What is up?" and
Stephen says, “I’m hawking.”

Friday, May 15, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 6



Animal nouns used as verbs.

Gary’s Foolish Move

He took a gander at her in
That very crowded space.
He tried to goose her. ‘Round she swirled
And slapped his startled face. 

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 5



Animal nouns used as verbs ...

Fierce Fido

A guy named Fido bothers me—
I am not very brave.
His hassling and bullying
Will dog me to my grave.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 4


Animal nouns we use as verbs ...

Taking a Gander

The gander saw the fence’s rails—
He seemed down on his luck.
But when he reached the lowest rail,
I saw that gander duck.

He showed a grace that geese somehow
Do not always display,
So I applauded from the street—
And waddled on my way.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 3



Dave’s Preview

He’d hoped to have a preview of
What happened when he died.
And so he bought a coffin, and
He wormed his way inside. 

Saturday, May 9, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 2



Animal nouns we use as verbs. 

Pisces Paul

Paul was a Pisces—through and through—
In myriads of ways.
He loved receiving compliments—
And often fished for praise. 

Friday, May 8, 2015

Fauna Foolery, 1


Animal nouns we use as verbs. 

Charming Roy

Roy was a charmerthere's no doubt. 
He really knew his part. 
He slithered right into her life—
And snaked into her heart. 

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Head Lines, 20



Head Line Deadline

Your days of reading now are free
Of all this daily dread:
I have no further doggerel
About the human head!

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Head Lines 19



Magic Bob

So Bob, who had a magic nob,
Was also something of a slob.
(Disgusting! Eating corn on cob!)
At work he did a crummy job.

But Bob employed his magic nob
To help a woman lost in sob.
His Kleenex helped her eyes to daub.
She married him! Oh, happy Bob!

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Head Lines, 18



Ladue’s Lament

Ladue had such a bulbous bulb
It swayed there on his neck.
A living tulip was Ladue—
His love life was a wreck:

Whenever he would lean to kiss
A lover on her lips,
Their heads would crack together—so
They never came to grips. 

Monday, May 4, 2015

Head Lines, 17



Nursery Rhyme

Dan and Joyce went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Dan fell down and broke his crown
And Joyce came laughing after.

(Not.)

(First, she made sure he was okay.)

(Not.)

(She’s never laughed like this.)

(Neither have I.)


(Not.) 

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Head Lines, 16



Upstairs with Dobie

Dobie was a wacky guy—he
Often was erratic.
Dobie had some flooring loose—a
Most unstable attic. 

Saturday, May 2, 2015

Head Lines, 15



Tough Tim

“Hard-headed” was the term for Tim—
He often got a thwack.
But harmless, for he had a nut
That was too hard to crack. 

Friday, May 1, 2015

Head Lines, 14



Sean's Scabby Request

Sean pointed to his thinning hair—
He wanted me to palp
Some kind of oozing sore upon
His peeling, nasty scalp.

(It was gross.

So I didn’t.)