Saturday, February 28, 2015

Deathwords, LXXX

Sue Ann’s New Digs

Sue Ann, the realtor, fell down
The steep and endless stair.
She’s moved now to her new abode
On Fertilizer Square.

Friday, February 27, 2015

Deathwords, LXXIX

Krisp Kate

Kate would hit the fridge at night—as
Silent as a whisper.
But a psycho tracked and killed her—
Kate’s now in the crisper. 

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Deathwords, LXXVIII

Walt Won’t Wake

Walt’s narcolepsy was severe—
Oh, such a sleepy chap.
But one day Walt did not wake up ...
’Twas his eternal nap. 

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Deathwords, LXXVII

Stormy George

George loved the simple things—to see
A lovely feather whirled.
But in whirled a tornado—now
He’s off to Netherworld. 

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Deathwords, LXXVI

Taylor’s Terminus

The post-apocalyptic world
Affected Taylor’s mood.
And later—in an alley—he
Became fresh zombie food. 

Monday, February 23, 2015

Deathwords, LXXV

Karl’s Kollapse

So Karl (the carpenter) was drunk—
And then he hit the floor.
That hammer's sound you hear is Karl, 
Who’s knockin’ on heaven’s door. 

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Deathwords, LXXIV

Chuckie’s Chocolate

Chuckie thought of suicide, of
Hanging from a rafter.
But he pigged on candy—now he’s
In the sweet hereafter.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Deathwords, LXXIII

Rock On

“Let’s stone the witch!” vile Rocky cried.
“Let’s not,” fair Jewel said.
Then Jewel’s friends grabbed all the rocks,
And Rocky’s now stone dead. 

Friday, February 20, 2015

Deathwords, LXXII

Let's (Not) Be Frank

Well, Frank (the pirate) erred in deed,
And, if we may be frank,
His mutiny? A big mistake.
And now he’ll walk the plank. 

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Deathwords, LXXI

Terminal Tom

So Tom the poultry butcher took
A gander—oh, he looked
So long at Beth he hit a tree—
And then his goose was cooked.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Deathwords, LXX

Gwen's Gone

Poor Gwen the travel agent won't
Be ever on the mend:
Her car went off the canyon’s edge—
She reached her journey’s end. 

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Deathwords, LIX

Piscine Sleep

Robert was an angler, and he
Loved all seafood dishes.
Then he fell into the sea, and
Now he sleeps with fishes. 

Monday, February 16, 2015

Deathwords, LVIII

Robin Flies No More

So, Robin loved spaghetti, and
She ate it every day.
She ate so much she’s now a meal
Down at the worm buffet. 

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Deathwords, LXVII

Fire Works

A fireworks stand—Ted struck a match—
His notion of a joke.
He had some dreams, but on that day
They all went up in smoke. 

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Deathwords, LXVI

Blaze Buys It

Blaze’s end—spectacular (though
Also somewhat gory).
Still his friends were thrilled that Blaze left
In a blaze of glory. 

Friday, February 13, 2015

Deathwords, LXV

Pete’s Farewell

Old Pete the Plumber—talented.
The hardest job? He’d shrug.
He slipped into a bathtub, though—
And so they pulled the plug. 

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Deathwords, LXIV

Bork Buys It

Bork the Raider, six feet tall, just
Loved to rape and plunder.
Then a peasant skewered him, and
Now he’s six feet under. 

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Deathwords, LXIII

Snake Oil

A rattlesnake named Hamlet fell
Into some boiling oil,
And that’s when Hamlet shuffled off
His very mortal coil. 

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Deathwords, LXII

Buh-bye, Boyd

Old Boyd, the gifted quarterback,
Insisted that he play.
A blitzer blasted him—and thus
Old Boyd just passed away. 

Monday, February 9, 2015

Deathwords, LXI

Harping on It

Lucille was a musician, but
She choked—a bone of carp.
When she woke up, she realized
That she’d picked up a harp. 

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Deathwords, LX

The Musician Knows His Rests

McNair the drummer knew his kit—
From snare to toms to bass.
He lost his rhythm—then he found
His final resting place. 

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Deathwords, LIX

Donny’s Demise

Donny watched the charmer, who could
Not control the viper.
That’s why Donny is no more: He
Had to pay the piper. 

Friday, February 6, 2015

Deathwords, LVIII

Smoke Alarm

That bear named Smokey in a storm
Got absolutely soaked.
He built a fire to dry himself—
And that’s how he got smoked.

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Deathwords, LVII

The Pride of the Trojan Warrior

The drunken Trojan warrior flat
Declined all swords and shields,
And this is why he’s now at rest
In lush Elysian Fields.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Deathwords, LVI

Maureen’s Terminal Grammar

Maureen’s an English teacher, with
Her grammar edged—a knife.
And when her time arrives, she knows
She’ll not lie down her life. 

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Deathwords, LV

Sniff, Snuff

So Mr. Snuffleupagus
Grew arrogant—so puffed!
Bert held a pillow to his trunk—
“Behave—or you get snuffed!”

Monday, February 2, 2015

Deathwords, LIV

The Last of Lem

Lem loved the taste of lemon drops—
He ate them in his bed.
But one caught in his windpipe, so
Poor Lem, I fear, dropped dead. 

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Deathwords, LIII

Luke’s Ill Luck

Luke (the Lover) loved Samantha—
Really doted on her.
Texted her while driving fast—now
Luke, I fear’s, a goner.