Looks Can Fool You, 14

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

14: contest

I really felt I must contest

The will that Rich Guy left behind.

I wanted only what was best—

I am, you know, the sharing kind.

The judge declared “No contest,” though—

In fact, she laughed aloud in court.

“You aren’t related—as you know—

So this is what I must report:

You’ll go to jail for years and years—

You’ll do hard labor till you die—

You’ll go to sleep just soaked in tears—

And all because of your foul lie!”

But here’s what saved me from that fate:

“Yo, I should share! I claim it still!

For this you really can’t debate—

It’s only fair … my name is Will!”

The judge looked stunned; she blushed a bit.

“You have a point that’s true and clear.

And so, I guess, I must acquit—

So—quickly!—beat it out of here!”