Looks Can Fool You, 45

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

45: polish/Polish

The man was Polish (so he said).

He loved his books (he read and read).

He loved great movies (streamed a bunch).

He loved his meals (but, mostly, lunch).

He loved to polish (silverware).

He loved to bake (with weekly care).

He loved his son (he loved his wife).

He loved it all (a special life).

Looks Can Fool You, 44

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

44: permit

He had no permit—none at all—

But sneaked right in there, nonetheless.

And while inside, he had a ball—

Though why he did, I couldn’t guess.

Why would you want to sneak inside

A slaughterhouse so late at night?

I can’t imagine—though I’ve tried.

(Perhaps he wasn't all that bright?)

Permit me, though, to speculate:

I think his goal was to be kind—

To talk with cows about their fate—

To teach them to be more … resigned.

Looks Can Fool You, 43

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

43: perfect

If you try to perfect both yourself and your wife,

It is likely you’ll have a most frustrating life.

For all wives are all perfect—as you surely know—

And all husbands are not—check their portfolio.

So perfect just yourselves, all you husbands out there.

It’s a way you can show that you really do care.

But if you must insist on correcting your spouse?

Oh, you soon will be finding a bachelor's house!

Looks Can Fool You, 42

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

42: pasty

I looked a little pasty, for

I’d not been too much in the sun.

I’d rather eat one pasty more—

For eating is just way more fun

Than going out into the day—

Into the sun, the wet, the cold.

I hate the weather—every way.

So here I’ll sit—until I’m old—

And eat each pasty that I’ve bought—

And never even start to try

To see the sun—for I’ve just thought

I’ll stay pure pasty till I die!

Looks Can Fool You, 41

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

41: object

“Your Honor, I object!”

He cried out in the court.

And I could understand that cry—

For I’d read the report.

It told about an object that

The vile defendant had—

A chainsaw with some DNA—

And human (that is bad).

The jury said, “He’s guilty!” and

The judge’s gavel banged.

And Leatherface—poor Leatherface!—

That chainsaw guy was hanged.

Looks Can Fool You, 40

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

40: number

Oh, I feel number in the cold

Than back when I was young.

Yes, now that I’m a little “old,”

When all my songs are sung

(Well, most of them, I should confess—

But I could number all the ones

That I have left—a few, I guess),

And there aren’t all that many suns

Remaining in my human sky,

I’ve noticed many “elder” things

That now are mine. (Oh, sigh—and sigh!)

I’m hoping to see many springs

And summers, winters (not the best),

And autumns with the leaves ablaze—

And sunsets dying in the west—

And all the things that still amaze.

Looks Can Fool You, 39

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

39: multiply

Those kids are gifted—multiply.

They’re bright—creative—you should see!

Oh, they’ll grow up to multiply—

At least, I hope that they will try!—

For we need talent everywhere—

And talent, as you know, is rare.

Looks Can Fool You, 38

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

38: mow

I was surprise to read just how

This word can rhyme wow and sow.

A pile of hay is called a mow!

Of course you have to mow the hay

To get a mow to stack today.

So: mow, then mow: It is the way!

Looks Can Fool You, 37

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

37: moderate

They asked me once to moderate

Some awful panel that they’d planned.

It turned into some wild debate—

Such things, I think, ought to be banned.

Not many folks are moderate

In recent, so divisive days.

It would be nice if we could cut

These cords of hateful, angry ways.

Looks Can Fool You, 36

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

36: minute

“Just wait a minute minute!” cried

The doomed guy on the plank.

The pirates didn’t wait at all—

The man just dropped. And sank.

Not far below the surface lay

A creature in the dark.

The doomed guy floated near it, cried,

“Oh, no! A great white shark!”

In just a minute—maybe less—

The shark was not so slim.

He’d gorged the doomed guy, leaving just

Some minute parts of him.

Looks Can Fool You, 35

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

35: lead

Now, take my lead—just use your head:

Some words look just the same, you know.

Confusing? Yes, makes reading slow—

Can poison pleasure—just like lead.

What makes this even worse, of course?

Are other words—like lede and led.

(The guy who did this? Take his head!)

Our language sometimes seems so … coarse!

So what this language really needs?

A conference to decide the way

Some spellings go, some spellings stay.

Let’s all assemble soon—in Leeds.

Looks Can Fool You, 34

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

34: lather

The lather had so many skills—

He solved the builder’s many ills.

The builder—in a lather, see—

Had promised a delivery

Of work that really wasn’t done.

The owner had a Gatling gun

And said, “You get it done, you creep!

Or off you go to endless sleep!”

The lather stepped into the void—

And helped the builder to avoid

That Gatling sound that rattled so.

The owner smiled—his afterglow—

But grieved he couldn’t use his gun—

He always thought it was such fun.

Looks Can Fool You, 33

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

33: laminate

Some things we need to laminate—

Protect them well from wear.

The laminate can demonstrate

How very much we care

About the object coated so—

It’s really not abstruse:

The thing we coat? We wish to save?

A kind of golden goose.

Looks Can Fool You, 32

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

32: invalid

In ways we’re each an invalid—

Some flaws we showed—and some we hid.

Perhaps we have a cruel heart—

Perhaps we’ve cheated from the start—

Perhaps we spread invalid tales—

Perhaps our best idea fails—

Perhaps our dreams are just beyond

What we can reach—we need a wand,

A magic one, to help us through

Each day—a way we can renew

Our hopes, our plans—our better lights.

We need them to get through our nights.

Looks Can Fool You, 31

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

31: intern

“Oh, don’t intern me!” so I cried

As they just carried me away.

The intern whom I’d seen had lied—

And now I really had to pay.

I kicked, I bit, I even swore

At the injustice of it all.

I prob’ly did a whole lot more—

But now I’m drugged—and can’t recall.

The intern laughed (or so I heard)—

And stole my credit cards, my life.

The last I know (so chirped a bird)

He lives in Bali with my wife.

Looks Can Fool You, 30

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

30: incense

So many things incense me, Yo—

Like Internet that is too slow—

Or lawns (like mine) that need a mow.

I know that I should just calm down—

Just burn some incense—lose the frown—

Or take a trip to Tarrytown—

Where Ichabod got quite a fright

That very famous spooky sight—

That Headless Horseman—what a night!

When I’m annoyed, it seems that I

Can’t focus much (pause while I sigh)—

Is that the Horseman riding by?

Looks Can Fool You, 29

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]that differ in pronunciation and meaning(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

29: house

He lived there in a house bizarre—

A place to house his antique car—

I think it once had been a bar.

The smell of alcohol was keen—

He loved that part—but unforeseen?

The part that was a bit obscene?

That very smell would make him drunk—

As drunk as that most fabled skunk—

He’d hit the floor—an awful thunk!

This happened every single day—

Until his brain complained, cried, “Hey!

You’re killing me! Just move—today!”

And so he did—let me explain—

A house that smelled just like cocaine.

And so the dude went pure insane!

Looks Can Fool You, 28

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

28: excuse

Well, he made an excuse, but I didn’t believe—

Not one word that I heard that guy say.

Please excuse, if you can, all my skeptical thoughts,

But the guy is a liar! No way

That he ever would tell any truth—for the words

That emerge from his mouth with each breath

Are the falsest a human can utter, you see,

And have driven the truth to its death.

Looks Can Fool You, 27

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

27: drawer

The drawer lost his pencil, so

Off to the drawer he slowly went.

He felt so tired—so nearly spent—

But—still—he really had to go.

So if a drawer cannot draw

Because his pencil’s gone away,

Is he a drawer still? I say,

He cannot be—by language law.

So, look inside the drawer, my friend.

And find a pencil—draw once more!

And then you’ll be a drawer, for

You’ve drawn. (At last, I’ve reached the end!)

Looks Can Fool You, 26

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

26: dove

I learned to use not dove but dived

When writing ’bout a dive

That happened sometime in the past.

(I think that I was five.)

But one day, on a diving board,

I looked and saw a dove,

And so I asked him—nicely, Yo—

If he was certain of

The simple past of dive, and he

Just cooed and flew away.

It seems that doves don’t really care

About our tenses—nay!

Looks Can Fool You, 25

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

25: does

The buck surveyed the many does

That wandered through the wood.

The buck then did what each buck does:

He wondered if he should,

You know, approach a comely one?

Could he persuade that doe

To take a wander in the wood?

He tried, but she said, “No!”

And so he stayed a lonely buck—

His antlers drooped in shame.

But then he got his mojo back—

For Bambi was his name!

Looks Can Fool You, 24

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

24: do

I didn’t see what I could do—

It was a mystery:

Each time she saw me, she would start

That singing: “Do-re-mi.”

Again! Again! Again! Again!

It drove me pure insane.

And that is why I’m in the “home”—

Where all my years will wane.

Oh, then they asked if I would join

A group they have—the choir?

But when I heard that “do-re-mi,”

I knew I would expire.

Looks Can Fool You, 23

het·ero·nym

Noun: one of two or more homographs [words that are spelled the same]

that differ in pronunciation and meaning

(such as a bass voice and bass, a fish)

First Known Use: circa 1889

23: digest 

The news was awful to digest— 

So many grizzlies in the West,  

Those bears that have an appetite— 

They smile at you—and then they bite. 

The “smile,” of course, is not a smile— 

Oh, no, not by a country mile: 

It is a sort of blade display— 

Those flashing teeth—they can fillet! 

A Reader’s Digest sort of tale— 

A man, a grizzly. Shouldn’t fail 

To horrify those placid folk— 

Who, camping, need to be more woke!