Random Doggerel, 22

Random Doggerel

Misnamed 12: grasshopper mouse

Now, these two names just make no sense—

Or not, at least, to me.

It what ways are these two the same?

In mere mortality?

Yes, both are born, and both will die—

But does that even mean

That they are both so similar

That they are king and queen!

Random Doggerel, 21

Random Doggerel

 

Misnamed, 12: fox squirrel 

A squirrel that looks like a fox?

Or is it just the other way?

Well, neither creature really talks,

So what to make of this display?

 

But do we have to make a choice?

It doesn’t really matter much.

And so together—with one voice—

Let’s call it just a such-and-such!

Random Doggerel, 20

Random Doggerel

 Misnamed 11: buffalo fish

 

A buffalo that fishes? Or

A buffalo that has transformed?

I really do not know the score—

I’m really not too well informed.

 

I guess I know that if a fish

Is like a ranging buffalo,

It is my very fondest wish

To hide until that fish will go

Away.

Random Doggerel, 19

Random Doggerel

Misnamed 10: antlion

I ain’t lyin’: If a lion

Thinks that it would rather be an

Ant, then we can see he’s tryin’—

Being something that an ant can

 

Not become—he never makes it.

Asked my aunt if any lion

Wished to be an ant—“Oh, no, twit!”—

This she said to her son Brian.

Random Doggerel, 18

Random Doggerel

Misnamed 9: Flea Beetle

The beetle is not happy—no:

It doesn’t want to be a flea.

I understand—I think I know:

That name would not, of course, please me.

The flea’s not happy either, for

A beetle’s not a pleasant choice.

Oh, all (he thinks) is such a bore—

He sees no way he can rejoice.

Random Doggerel, 17

Random Doggerel

Misnamed, 8: Burro/Mule Deer

Make up your mind! What is this thing?

A burro or a deer?!?

It can’t be both, as you well know—

Let’s make that very clear.

A beast of burden? I think not.

A deer (with fawn and buck)?

I think so—yes! But then you'll claim

It really is a duck!

Random Doggerel, 16

Random Doggerel

 Misnamed 7: alligator turtle 

Now, here’s a mismatch—watery.

They both like swamps (no mystery).

But one is short and one is long—

And that would not inspire a song!

 

And one will eat you—one will not—

So if I find myself some spot

 Where one approaches fearful Dan—

I’ll take the one that can’t, not can.

Random Doggerel, 15

Random Doggerel

Misnamed 6: tiger swallowtail butterfly

So many creatures in this name—

And none of them are, well, the same.

A tiger (can you hear it roar?)—

A swallowtail (it’s aft, not fore)—

A butterfly—oh, see it dance!—

As if it learned to dance in France.

And all these three combined in one?

Perhaps a name that’s overdone?

Random Doggerel, 14

Random Doggerel

Misnamed 5: butterfly fish

A fish that’s like a butterfly!

I’d like to see one in my yard:
I say to him, “Now listen, pard.

Avoid all these, my precious plants,

But dine away upon the ants!

Random Doggerel, 13

Random Doggerel

Misnamed 4: fox squirrel

A squirrel cannot be a fox—

You can’t, I think be your own food?

Just ask an ox—just ask some hawks—

They’ll say your thoughts are skewed!

Random Doggerel, 12

Random Doggerel

Misnamed 3: dragonfly

Oh, sure, a dragon’s known to fly—

Is that its species, too?

Of course it isn’t—dragonflies

Are insects through and through.

And flies, of course, aren’t dragons—if

You claim so, you’re a liar!

For flies don’t guard huge piles of gold—

Exhale some deadly fire!

Random Doggerel, 11

Random Doggerel

Misnamed 2: prairie dog

So, if you’ve seen a prairie dog

(As I have—many times before),

Unless you’re in some mental fog,

It ain’t no dog—and, furthermore,

It’s like a chipmunk (below, you see)—

Or go consult a reference book,

Of if, like me, in memory

You just remember—take a look!

Random Doggerel, 10

Random Doggerel

Misnamed 1: Catfish

In case you haven’t noticed, well,

A catfish is no cat.

It seems so very obvious—

So I can live with that.

Oh, yeah, it’s got some whiskers, and

A cat has those, as well.

But it’s a fish—it’s plain to see—

And surely you can tell!

Random Doggerel, 9

Random Doggerel

In these grim times I miss my bike—

I used to ride it everywhere:

To school (I tried to take much care,

Avoid a very careless strike

Of someone whom I’d pedal by.)

I’d pay attention: Trucks and cars

Can bang you—fill your head with stars—

And leave you staring at the sky.

But balance is the issue now—

I’ve lost it—and I wish I knew

Where I could find it (wouldn’t you?).

And life is not as fun somehow.

Random Doggerel, 8

Random Doggerel

Ignored Corolla

We have two cars—but ever since

We saw this COVID thing commence,

Our “second car”—2010

Corolla—really hasn’t been

Much more than a museum piece—

In the garage it begs release!

I start it twice a week, of course:

The battery remains its source

Of power—and if I let it drain,

Inside that poor car will remain.

I let it run a little while,

Then shut it down (it does not smile).

But if we need it, it won’t preen

And will roar out from quarantine.

Random Doggerel, 7

Random Doggerel

First Lily

July 12, 2020

A lily—first one—blossomed here—

A brilliant orange—it has no peer.

I love to see them—every year.

They let us know that’s summer’s come,

That birds can chirp, and bees can hum,

And gone (for now) is winter’s glum.

Each blossom lives a single day—

Such beauty cannot really stay—

Reminding us of life’s sad way.

Random Doggerel, 6

Random Doggerel

Clouds, Rain, Sun

The sun is playing Hide and Seek—

It hides a while—then takes a peek.

And sometimes it is gone for days—

What kind of person that way plays!?

And while it hides, clouds swell with grief,

Then cry some rain—get some relief.

And when at last old Sol appears,

The clouds rejoice, disperse—no tears.

Random Doggerel, 5

Random Doggerel

Our Sparrow Bush

Our sparrows love a certain bush

Outside beside our drive.

Sometimes they chirp so loudly that

The bush just comes alive.

Well, sure, the bush already lives

In its laconic way.

But now it seems it’s sprouted wings—

Will fly away some day.

Random Doggerel, 4

Random Doggerel

A Hammer In the Road

Stow, Ohio

July 10, 2020

And there it lay—a hammer!—on

Ohio 91.

Some drivers tried to miss it—

Some others, just for fun,

Made sure they hit the handle—it

Was made with solid wood.

I’m not sure why they did this, for

It really did no good.

But then I figured out just why

They were behaving so:

Perhaps they’d been inside a bar

And now were hammered, Yo!

Random Doggerel, 3

Random Doggerel

Grandma Was a Rocker

A rocking chair in front of me

Reminds me of my boyhood days

When Grandma sat—she could amaze

Me with her creativity.

This was her chair for many years—

Its armrests worn by her dear arms—

Where I would sit, admire her charms,

While she revealed such new frontiers

That I thought life a miracle.

She read to me―I on her lap

Would soon drift off into a nap.

For her I’m panegyrical.

Random Doggerel, 2

Random Doggerel

Dancing Squirrel

July 8, 2020

The squirrel danced atop our fence—

A picket fence—it made no sense.

But on he went, right down the line—

A Fred Astaire—but sciurine.*

And did he see me standing there

And dance along like Fred Astaire

Because he wished to prove to me

His vast superiority?

If so, he did it—dropped the mic.

I sold my car—and bought a trike.

*Yeah, sciurine [SY-u-rine] means like a squirrel.

Random Doggerel, 1

Because my health is iffy these days (to say the least), I'm not going to launch into a new, thematic series--not sure I could finish it, or feel like doing it.

So, instead, a series I'm calling "Random Doggerel"--whatever pops into my head.

Here we go ...

Random Doggerel

Cat, Unmoving, by the Fire

July 7, 2020

The cat is lying by the fire—

But something’s in arrears:

He hasn’t moved at all today—

He hasn’t moved in years.

His eyes are shut; his tail is curled.

I should feel no chagrin:

This cat has flowers on his back—

Is made of porcelain.

Head to Toe, 56

Head to Toe:

Boning Up on the Bones of the Body

Finale

Our revels now are ended, so

I guess it’s time for me to go?

It’s time for bony rhymes to cease—

Which gives to you some blithe release.

We’ve traveled down—from skull to toe—

And since we’ve done so, you all know

The names of every single bone—

A quiz will prove it—do not groan!

I do not want to grade a quiz,

So we’ll just leave it as it is:

A journey that is now complete—

A trip that caused no aching feet!

Head to Toe, 55

Head to Toe:

Boning Up on the Bones of the Body

Foot (i): distal phalanges

These are the wee ones in our toes—

The ones we stub—oh, yes, it’s those—

Phalanges that we curse in pain

And vow we won’t do that again—

Until, of course, we do.

Head to Toe, 54

Head to Toe:

Boning Up on the Bones of the Body

Foot (h): intermediate phalanges

These are the portions of the toes

That make sure everything now goes

Together in our human feet.

Phalanges—that’s the term you meet

When reading of the little bones

That stay inside their comfort zones

And make sure that our toes will work—

Oh, just another bony perk!

Head to Toe, 53

Head to Toe:

Boning Up on the Bones of the Body

Foot (g): proximal phalanges

The longest bone now in your toe—

It stretches some—as you all know.

These proximal phalanges, see,

Are needed much by you and me:

If we don’t have them? Not too swell.

We couldn’t walk—oh, no, not well.

Head to Toe, 52

Head to Toe:

Boning Up on the Bones of the Body

Foot (f): metatarsals

These are the long bones in the foot,

These metatarsals, as they’re known.

You must be careful where you put

Them. (You, of course, don’t want to groan.)

They help the foot to stabilize—

To function as it’s meant to do.

For you would have a great surprise

If one of them were all askew.

Head to Toe, 51

Head to Toe:

Boning Up on the Bones of the Body

Foot (e): cuboid

It’s one of seven tarsal bones—

The cuboid is a key

To keep the foot well functioning,

Avoiding misery.

It is, indeed, shaped like a cube—

As its clear name implies.

But keep it safe—do not abuse!—

Oh, this I must advise!

Head to Toe, 50

Head to Toe:

Boning Up on the Bones of the Body

Foot (d): cuneiform

These are among the magic three—

That form the tarsal bones we need,

The bones that work in harmony

To give us grace, to give us speed.

The cuneiform lie near the edge,

Where they get bumped from time to time.

But I can now so surely pledge

These bones are really cool—sublime!

Head to Toe, 49

Head to Toe:

Boning Up on the Bones of the Body

Foot (c): navicular

Naviculars are little guys—

But we should never judge by size,

No, not in some important bone—

Remember David’s deadly stone?

Yes, it’s important this short dude—

And you should watch your attitude:

Don’t disrespect the smallest things,

For tiny birds have songs—and wings!

Head to Toe, 48

Head to Toe:

Boning Up on the Bones of the Body

Foot (b): talus

The talus is the bone between

The ankle bones and heel.

Connections are important, Yo,

For we’re not made of steel.

No, we need help from many bones—

How they cooperate!

We don’t get very far in life

If every bone should hate

The others.