ZooWeird 55

A doggerel series about odd or little-known animals.

Ocean Sunfish. The ocean sunfish (also known as Mola mola or just Mola) holds the world record for heaviest bony fish. The species inhabits tropical and temperate waters and occurs in all major oceans. The ocean sunfish is the heaviest bony fish of the world, with adults having an average weight of 1.000 kg (about 2,200 lbs). Adults have an average length of 1.8 m (6 ft) and an average fin-to-fin length of 2.5 m (8.2 ft). However, there have been reports of individuals measuring up to 3.3 meters (10.8 ft) in length and 4.3 meters (14 ft) from fin to fin. The heaviest specimen ever recorded had a weight of 2.300 kg (5,100 lbs). Females tend to be a bit larger than males. (All animal info from http://www.strangeanimals.info/2010/12/ocean-sunfish.html#ixzz4Wb9vXNsU)

FISH 1: “So you’re that heavy bony fish?”

FISH 2: “How should I answer—what’s your wish?”

FISH 1: “I merely want the truth, my friend.”

FISH 2: “And will this truth our friendship end?”

FISH 1: “Why should that happen? We’re so close!”

FISH 2: “But truth can be a heavy dose.”

FISH 1: “Well, tell the truth, and let’s find out.”

FISH 2: “I am so heavy—there’s no doubt.”

FISH 1: “I thought so—you’re disgusting, fat!”

             And as for friendship? That was that.

     MORAL: When someone asks how much you weigh,

                     Delay, delay, delay, delay.