Chicken Big, 50

Frightening Doggerel

Lost at Sea: thalassophobia

His fear of oceans was a mark

Against the fabled Captain Hook.

(He also greatly feared the dark

And every single kind of book.)

But he still terrified his crew—

With tales of clocks and crocodiles.

So while they sailed the ocean blue,

He kept control. But phony smiles

Before too long had worn so thin

That there was talk of mutiny.

So he confessed to all his men:

“It's just that I can't stand the sea!”

And they applauded, every one,

At Captain Hook’s frank honesty.

And Hook cried out, “Let's all have fun,

From every sea to shining sea!”

And so that morning of release—

That morning very dark and dank—

The captain made his psychic peace:

He made a prisoner walk the plank.