Sound and Sense, 33

Our English dictionary has in it many words whose sounds and meanings can … confuse. In this next series of doggerel, I’ll be writing about several sorts of such words.

The first—the contronym: a word, says the Oxford English Dictionary, that has “two opposite or contradictory meanings.”

Earliest published use: 1962.

variety noun

1. a particular type

2. many types

Variety, she thought, would be

The way to help her find a man,

But his was a variety

That made her choose another plan.

When she discovered he was fond

Of nothing else but cheese fondue,

Well, that’s the trait that broke the bond,

And so she bid that dude adieu.

Sound and Sense, 32

Our English dictionary has in it many words whose sounds and meanings can … confuse. In this next series of doggerel, I’ll be writing about several sorts of such words.

The first—the contronym: a word, says the Oxford English Dictionary, that has “two opposite or contradictory meanings.”

Earliest published use: 1962.

trip noun

1. a journey

2. a stumble

The trip he planned to Timbuktu

Did not work out—yes, it is true.

He fell—a trip!—out near his car,

And so his trip was not that far:

Just from his upright posture—then

Down to the ground. And that was when

His journey changed to near from far—

From Timbuktu to that ER,

Which was a single mile away.

So … Timbuktu? Another day.

Sound and Sense, 31

Our English dictionary has in it many words whose sounds and meanings can … confuse. In this next series of doggerel, I’ll be writing about several sorts of such words.

The first—the contronym: a word, says the Oxford English Dictionary, that has “two opposite or contradictory meanings.”

Earliest published use: 1962.

trim verb

1. to decorate

2. to remove excess from

We had a Christmas tree to trim,

But I was full up—to the brim—

With all the orders straight from him.

“So how about we trim your nose!”

I barked at him—we were not bros.

“This knife,” I said, “a wise one knows,

Will trim you up so perfectly—

And (best of all) it’s all for free!”

And then he seemed to change his mind—

And suddenly turned very kind,

The kindest man that you could find.

And so his nose remained untrimmed.

And all my prospects now undimmed.

And later, sure, they found I skimmed

Donations from the offering plate.

By then I’d fled—another state—

Where, I confess, I’m feeling great!

I find there's very little crime.
And socially? No need to climb:
Our prison meals are right on time.

Sound and Sense, 30

Our English dictionary has in it many words whose sounds and meanings can … confuse. In this next series of doggerel, I’ll be writing about several sorts of such words.

The first—the contronym: a word, says the Oxford English Dictionary, that has “two opposite or contradictory meanings.”

Earliest published use: 1962.

transparent adj.

1. invisible

2. obvious

“Your motives are transparent, Dan.

You hope we’ll think that you're a man.

But we can’t think that—no one can.”

I felt that was a little hard—

And so I took him to my yard

To see if he’d, you know, die hard.

He didn’t. Burying him with skill,

I left no sign, no lumpy hill,

And went inside and took a pill.

And later—through transparent glass—

I saw that there was greener grass

Right where he lay. You can’t surpass

That grave I dug. The plan so fine—

He’s lain out there since ’89.

I wonder: Did I cross the line?

Sound and Sense, 29

Our English dictionary has in it many words whose sounds and meanings can … confuse. In this next series of doggerel, I’ll be writing about several sorts of such words.

The first—the contronym: a word, says the Oxford English Dictionary, that has “two opposite or contradictory meanings.”

Earliest published use: 1962.

throw out verb

1. to dispose of

2. to present for consideration

“At this important meeting we

Will throw out your ideas, so

That all of us can clearly see

Which ones are ‘stop’ and which are ‘go.’”

And I replied: “Those that are ‘stop’?

I hope you will not be too rash?”

“Oh no … but if they tend to flop?

We’ll throw them out with other trash.”

I did not find that comforting—

But what was I supposed to do?

This job is like a boxing ring—

And uppercuts are what we do.

So I took punches from the rest—

Delivered quite a few as well.

They trashed my plans! They were the best!

I mumbled: “You go right to hell.”

And I can’t tell you what surprise

I felt—and strong emotions more—

When there, before my very eyes,

They all just fell right through the floor.

And Satan rose and said to me,

“Now, I am not a guy’s who’s rude,

But I’ve done you a favor, see?

And now you really owe me, dude!”

Sound and Sense, 28

Our English dictionary has in it many words whose sounds and meanings can … confuse. In this next series of doggerel, I’ll be writing about several sorts of such words.

The first—the contronym: a word, says the Oxford English Dictionary, that has “two opposite or contradictory meanings.”

Earliest published use: 1962.

temper verb

1. to soften

2. to strengthen

“Please temper your remarks,” he urged.

"Your passion should be somewhat purged.”

“I’ll temper them,” I said. “I feel

I’ll temper them like finest steel.”

"That's not exactly what I meant,”

My boss replied. So then I went

A bit berserk. He was surprised—

Had never seen me exercised.

And so he fired me—sweet old me!

But now, at last, I’m free! I’m free!

**

My newest friend is Penury—

Which happens with no salary.

Sound and Sense, 27

Our English dictionary has in it many words whose sounds and meanings can … confuse. In this next series of doggerel, I’ll be writing about several sorts of such words.

The first—the contronym: a word, says the Oxford English Dictionary, that has “two opposite or contradictory meanings.”

Earliest published use: 1962.

strike verb

1. to hit

2. to miss in an attempt to hit

So Mighty Casey (at the bat)

Had eyes that just refused to see. 

He struck, at last—the pitch looked fat—

He missed ... and so … oh well, Strike Three!

And in the stands, unhappy fans

Decided they would start a fight.

They struck each other (such were plans)

And so this brawl just raged all night.

They used up almost all the dark,

Consuming it with bloody blows.

The clock struck four—a gory park!

They went home with the rooster’s crows.