Hiatus.

 On hiatus for a while.

Random Doggerel, 36

 

Brand Names Now Universal, 6

 

 

Laundromat 

Before I married—laundromat!

My home away from my wee home—

Apartment (or, preferred?) a flat—

Where there was little space to roam.

 

I saved my quarters—priceless things

That paid to clean both smudge and stain

And stuff unpleasant (gnarly things)—

I hope I don’t need to explain!

*expired as trademark in 1952

Random Doggerel, 35

 

Brand Names Now Universal, 5

 

Kerosene 

A word we’ve used for many years—

A word that sometimes flames—

A word now used so generally—

Has had so many names.

* trademarked in 1854--though I'm not sure it still is

Random Doggerel, 34

 Brand Names Now Universal, 4 

Jacuzzi

Jacuzzi? Yes, but I have tried

Just one time, I recall.

It was, I think, in winter—no, 

Not summer, spring, nor fall.

I felt self-conscious in that tub—

That’s all that I recall.

I won’t repeat that episode—

On, no, one time is all!

*Jacuzzi Brands, LLC

Random Doggerel, 33

 Brand Names Now Universal, 3

Onesies

I know not much of onesies—I

Have never put one on.

Well not, at least, since infancy—

But those days long are gone.

Okay, I wrestled long ago—

And didn’t have much luck.

Oh, not because of onesies—but

At some sports I just suck.

*trademark: Gerber Children'swear, LLC

Random Doggerel, 32

Brand Names Now Universal, 2 

Bubble Wrap

I never would have guessed this term

Was not a plain generic one—

Like bug or bee or duck or worm—

It seems so long ago begun.

But so it is, I just now learned.

It’s trademarked—has a history—

A history unknown to me.

(In ways, I guess, I’ve just been burned!)

*trademarked by Sealed Air Corporation

Random Doggerel, 31

Brand Names Now Universal, 1

Jet Ski

Who would have ever thought it?

That jet ski is a brand?

Jet skiers would—well, of course they would—

But all across the land

And waters all around the world,

The name now is applied

To all devices similar—

And not all certified!*

*Kawasaki's brand name

Random Doggerel, 30

Random Doggerel

Misnamed, 20: Tiger Lily

We know that Tiger Lily was

A character in Peter Pan,

But it’s a puzzler, too, because,

It is a flower, named by man.

Are things more contradictory

Than flowers and that fearsome cat?

The one is lovely, we can see;

The other eats you, nothing flat!

Oh, contradictions flow through time—

And some are puzzling—some a hoot—

Some tigers kill you for a dime—

Some flowers bound to stalk and root.

Random Doggerel, 29

Random Doggerel

Misnamed, 19: Swan Goose

Make up your mind! Do you know birds?

Or are you simply out of words?

How can your language be so loose

To call a swan, instead, a goose?

Or maybe it’s a goose for real?

And not a swan? How do you feel

When someone calls you Bob, not Burt?

Oh, don’t you feel a little hurt?

Random Doggerel, 28

Random Doggerel

Misnamed, 18: skunk bear

A pleasant pair our series brings—

You have no choice but to agree:

A creature that can eat such things

Like you and (sadly), yes, like me.

And add to him that smelly dude,

Who thickens air with funky gas.

I mean, is there a thing more rude

Than spoiling air—when will it pass!

Random Doggerel, 27

Random Doggerel

Misnamed, 18: Rhinoceros Beetle

Now this is one I’d like to see!

A beetle with a horn, I guess?

Though I confess it seems to me

That wouldn’t be too scary, yes?

Unless, of course, you’re smaller! Then

That beetle must look awesome, Yo.

Enough to scare a bug named Ken—

Who’ll run as fast as Ken can go.

Random Doggerel, 26

Random Doggerel

Misnamed, 17: scorpion fly

Now this one kind of creeps me out—

A scorpion that flies!

And when he lands and stings, I guess

The stung one ups and dies?

You need a tennis racket as

You deal with bugs in skies.

I smack some tennis balls, of course,

But also scary flies!

Random Doggerel, 25

Random Doggerel

Misnamed, 15: rat terrier

A rat that is a dog—a dog that is a rat.

Oh, there is something wrong with that!

The one is a most valued pet;

The other? Well, I wouldn’t bet

That lots of people kiss their rats—

I don’t hear all those smooches, splats

That come from homes where rats abide.

(Who knows what’s going on inside?)

Yes, dogs are far more loved, I think.

And rats? Not valued like a mink!

Random Doggerel, 24

Random Doggerel, 23

Misnamed, 14: mouse deer

Now this one really makes no sense—

A critter that’s both mouse and deer?

I mean, the picture is not very clear

Of this—but maybe I’m just dense?

So is the deer so very small?

Or is the mouse so very big?

And how did Nature ever rig

A thing that is both short and tall?!

Random Doggerel, 23

Random Doggerel

Misnamed, 13: leopard frog

A leopard and a frog, you say?

How can they be the same? No way!

The one likes ponds and lily pads—

The other eats our moms and dads.

Some leopards must be so alarmed

To find that frogs are sometimes charmed—

And even earn a special kiss,

Transforming them—oh, silly bliss!