Junior Words, 90

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #18: (i) epicure, (j) paean

I thought I was an epicure—

Oh, I was very, very sure.

I wrote a paean to a place

Where we had eaten—pleasant space.

But back at home—my stomach churned—

And my opinion really turned.

I am an epicure no more—

I eat at Mickey D’s—a bore?

Junior Words, 89

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #18: (g) assiduous, (h) egalitarian

The termites were assiduous—

All very busy, working there.

We were concerned about the fuss

We heard in walls—well, everywhere.

But I’m egalitarian—

In spring and winter, summer, fall—

And so I didn’t kill just one—

I killed them—every one—yes, all!

Junior Words, 88

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #18: (e) profligate, (f) lachrymose

He was so wasteful, profligate,

That his whole family cried.

He just could not provide for them

Because he always tried

To hit the Lotto—every week—

A very heavy dose

Of crazy gambling. And this left

His family lachrymose.

Junior Words, 87

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #18: (c) mitigate, (d) opprobrious

Oh, I know I’m opprobrious—just now and then.

And I know that my actions can cause pure chagrin.

But to mitigate this, I am ripped—and I’m hot.

So you’ve got to take pleasure in all that I’ve got!

Junior Words, 86

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #18: (a) fatuous, (b) jeremiad

It seems a little fatuous

To blame some others—oh, like us—

For all the foolish things you’ve done

Since you were just a little one.

So—jeremiads all aside—

You could do better, if you tried.

But if you don’t, I’d watch my back:

For coming soon? A sneak attack!

Junior Words, 85

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #17: (i) garrulous, (j) obeisance

You’re garrulous? Sure, that’s all right—

Though all the times you pick are strange

(Like funerals—it’s time to change!).

Perhaps you should not talk but write?

Yes, write some novels—children’s books—

Nonfiction—memoir—anything!

The history of the chicken wing!

Or why those pirates all have hooks!

Yes, show obeisance to my plea—

You’ll find yourself more welcome then

Than lately you have ever been—

At least, this will be true for me!

Junior Words, 84

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #17: (g) imprecation, (h) savant

I’m not exactly a savant—

Can’t always figure what I want.

An imprecation can ensue—

For I now know just what to do

When I am thwarted in my aims—

I’ve got no time for baby games!

And so I just let loose and curse—

I could do things, oh, far much worse!

Junior Words, 83

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #17: (e) mercurial, (f) nugatory

Oh, so mercurial he was—

He moved from fire to ice.

At both extremes you could conclude

He was not very nice.

This was not nugatory—no—

This observation, for

You must avoid this sort of dude:

Part Frosty and part Thor!

Junior Words, 82

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #17: (c) reprobate, (d) puerile

The dude called me a reprobate—

A term I quickly learned to hate.

Then puerile came next, I fear—

A word that falls, oh, far too near

The sort of person that I am.

(I can’t be silent as a lamb!)

But still those unkind words hit hard—

So I hit him—my prison guard!

Junior Words, 81

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #17: (a) petulant, (b) effulgence

You seem a little petulant—

So your effulgence must have died?

I think, though, if you really tried,

You just might lose your discontent.

Junior Words, 80

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #16: (i) ersatz, (j) solecism

His ersatz scholarship was clear

In solecisms that he wrote,

But still he seemed to have no fear—

And somehow kept his life afloat.

He kept his job (an English prof!);

He kept his wife, his house, his things.

And every now and then he’d quaff

A beer—and smile—and have some flings.

And on his grave—some simple lines

That he’d prepared far in advance:

“My prose, I know, just never shines—

But did you ever see me dance!?”

Junior Words, 79

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #16: (g) insouciant, (h) sage

You seem, well, so insouciant—and

That brings relief! So very sage!

Today, so many swell with rage—

Say other thoughts should all be banned.

Junior Words, 78

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #16: (e) dire, (f) rhetoric

You know the situation’s dire

When he resorts to rhetoric,

Replacing logic with the fire

Of flaming language—makes me sick.

Oh, how I wish that those who speak

Would do so with sound logic, facts.

The truth is not too hard to seek—

It’s how an honest person acts!

Junior Words, 77

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #16: (c) specious, (d) innocuous

Your argument is specious, dude—

And very far away from shrewd.

There is no danger—not for us—

In fact, it’s all innocuous.

The earth is flat—the climate fixed.

So learn these facts—don’t get them mixed

With truth.

Junior Words, 76

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #16: (a) fealty, (b) inane

So can I trust your fealty?

I know it seems inane,

But I smell some disloyalty—

I feel a bit insane.

I know I’ve always trusted you—

I trust you with my life.

So what I’m wondering about …

Why do you wield that knife?

Junior Words, 75

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #15: (i) concupiscence, (j) prelapsarian

Concupiscence was not a thing

When Eve and Adam ruled.

Their world—when prelapsarian—

Had not as yet been fooled.

You all remember that sad tale—

The apple tree, the snake?

And then all kinds of change arrived—

The earth began to quake.        

Junior Words, 74

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #15: (g) grovel, (h) insipid

I tried to grovel—would that work?

I knew that I had been a jerk.

“Oh, please,” she said. “You fool no one

With your insipid, overdone

Attempt to show some real remorse.”

And she, I fear, was right, of course.

Junior Words, 73

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #15: (e) baleful, (f) rectitude

The creature’s fierce and baleful looks

Sent people running everywhere.

All rectitude? A thing in books.

They trampled friends who knelt in prayer.

And so it goes when terror comes:

We kneel—or panic—and behave

As any creature that succumbs

To fear. So few of us are brave.

Junior Words, 72

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #15: (c) vapid, (d) abstemious

That vapid speech just left me cold—

Ideas in it were so old

That I could almost hear them creak

When he stood up, commenced to speak.

I thought about a shot of booze—

For, after all, what’s there to lose?

I drank, began to rage and cuss—

And learned to be abstemious.

Junior Words, 71

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #15 (a) rancorous, (b) vituperate

“Why must you be so rancorous?

And why vituperate?

Just mellow out—just chill a bit:

Perhaps, oh, hibernate?”

I should have known he’d disagree—

He might not ever care—

For you can’t really reason with

An angry grizzly bear.

Junior Words, 70

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #14: (i) ephemeral, (j) voluptuary

So much seems so ephemeral—

This thought just rattles in my skull.

Our looks, our youth—not permanent.

A guy I’ve met knows what that’s meant:

“Voluptuary”—that’s the brand

He earned—all trim and tanned.

But then he aged—turned slack and gray—

And had to live another way.

Junior Words, 69

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #14: (g) lapidary, (h) lacustrine

While in lacustrine Switzerland

We found a lapidary life—

A life so free, so bright, so grand—

A life without much stress or strife.

Yes, this is what young Mary thought—

When all things seemed so bright and fine.

But then her world grew darker—and

She wrote her novel Frankenstein.

Junior Words, 68

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #14: (e) transient (f) zealous

My passions are not transient—

Yes, with them I am quite content.

I’m zealous in these dear pursuits—

And relish all their attributes.

Yes, reading, writing, streaming shows—

And being with my wife (she knows!).

Yes, these, I say, are what I need—

Our passions light our lives … agreed?

Junior Words, 67

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #14: (c) amicable, (d) abhorrent

Their relations, at first, were so amicable—

That it doesn’t seem possible they

Have descended to bitter debating about

The political news of the day.

They considered the other abhorrent, and so

Their long friendship just soon evanesced.

It alarmed all their friends who were puzzled and said:

“This is something not one of us guessed!”

Junior Words, 66

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #14: (a) intrepid, (b) abrogate

The explorer was intrepid, so

He knew exactly where to go:

He journeyed to the Yeti’s land—

But things did not proceed as planned.

The Yeti grabbed him by the throat,

And here—permit me—I will quote:

“I hereby abrogate your right

To search for me, both day and night.”

And while the guy was full of dread,

The Yeti ate his foolish head.

Junior Words, 65

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #13: (i) spurious, (j) tacit

So spurious, the whole thing sounds—

Some frightening message fills the air:

“This property is out of bounds—

Take heed—there is a grizzly bear!”

The tacit message? Much more clear:

“I don’t want people on my lawn—

And so I’ll try a little fear,

And soon those fools will be long gone.”

(Ironic news: A grizzly bear wandered in from Wyoming and ate the owner, who was watering his own lawn!)

Junior Words, 64

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #13: (g) timorous, (h) bathos

If you are feeling timorous

About approaching her today,

Just listen and I’ll tell the way:

Just find a way you can discuss

The things that humans care about—

Like life and love and hopes and dreams

(Your sentences will flow like streams)—

And she will dig you—ain’t no doubt.

But please avoid the bathos, for

It is a way to douse the flame

That you’ve ignited. (Win the game!)

Yes, stick to things that mean much more.

Junior Words, 63

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #13: (e) servile, (f) chicanery

I thought that being servile might

Help ease my way to wealth and fame,

And so (though I am not too bright)

I sought a mentor with a “name.”

But she saw through me—right away—

And ended my deceptions. See,

She recognized in just one day

My clumsy, sad chicanery.

Junior Words, 62

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #13: (c) perfidious, (d) sybarite

You have become perfidious—

In day and also night.

And so I fear I must conclude:

You are a sybarite.

You focus sharply on the flesh—

And, yes, of course, on sex.

Your heart is disappearing—like

Tyrannosaurus rex!

Repair yourself! It’s not too late!

And live a purer way.

For you might find you have a soul—

And have no price to pay.

Junior Words, 61

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #13: (a) cloacal, (b) querulous

What is that vile, cloacal smell?

Has someone found the gates to Hell?

You think that I sound querulous?

You think I’m stirring up a fuss?

Well, I smell something hellish, so

I think I’ll pack my bag and go.

(The other direction.)

Junior Words, 60

A High School Teacher’s Final List

List #12: (i) libertine, (j) vacuous

He lived his life a libertine—

Enjoyed the … liberty—

Though he would never live to have

A wife, a family.

Oh, he was vacuous, as well—

He saw no use for brain.

The body is what he enjoyed—

I don’t need to explain!