Words from a Teacher's Past, 102

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #20: (i) rustic, (j) misdemeanor

“Is it a misdemeanor to

Live in this rustic style?

I ask this, Sir, because I see

You look around and smile.”

“A smile is not indictment,” said

The Sir who stood and smiled.

“A smile can be a compliment—

So, please do not get riled.”

“And so you like my cabin here?”

“Oh, yes, it’s quite the place!”

But still I couldn’t stand the look

He wore upon his face.

I took him to the woodpile, where

(And these are just the facts)

I introduced his smirking face

To my old friend, my axe.

Words from a Teacher's Past, 101

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #20: (g) initial, (h) outrage

Well, my initial outrage soon

Diminished like a changing moon.

I learned that she was truly kind—

Despite her ever-changing mind.

A mind so lunar, as you see

(I keep consistent imagery!),

So please don’t think me mean and sick

If I now call her “lunatic”!

Words from a Teacher's Past, 100

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #20: (e) laconic, (f) dismal

He was laconic—no debate.

He rarely spoke—his words were few—

And those he had were not too great.

But there were things that he could do.

He’d smile on even dismal days—

He’d comfort those who were depressed—

He had a most affecting gaze—

In many ways, he was the best.

Words from a Teacher's Past, 99

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #20: (c) assumption, (d) disdain

Oh, you displayed such great disdain

For my proposal—Please explain!

For my assumption has to be

That you don’t want to marry me!

Words from a Teacher's Past, 98

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #20: (a) flounder, (b) discern

You flounder here—you flounder there.

In fact, I can’t discern

Where you have never floundered, Yo.

And, yes, this is a burn!

Words from a Teacher's Past, 97

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #19: (i) compensation, (j) pampered

What I’d like for compensation?

Year-long fully paid vacation.

Oh, I’m not pampered—not a bit—

But I would be so thrilled with it—

A year to do just what I wish …

Say what? I’m fired! Will dine with fish?

Words from a Teacher's Past, 96

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #19: (g) arduous, (h) pretense

So arduous, that grisly task

That you assigned (you didn’t ask).

And must I really wear a mask?

It seems like pretense—patently—

To put a Batman mask on me?!

One look and everyone will see

That I’m not Batman—ain’t no way!

My gut is pooched; my beard is grey.

So folks will laugh—is that okay?

Words from a Teacher's Past, 95

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #19: (e) solidarity, (f) pratfall

To show his solidarity

With friends like you (and friends like me),

He took a pratfall right outside—

We laughed so hard we nearly died.

Yes, you can nearly bust a gut

To see a friend land on his butt!

Words from a Teacher's Past, 94

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #19: (c) exquisite, (d) docile

Well, her exquisite taste was as famous as she—

She was known far and wide—on the land and on sea.

And she had a huge dog that was docile and sweet—

But it seemed to be me that he wanted to eat.

So he flashed his fierce teeth when he saw me come near—

And each time that he did, I just trembled with fear.

But one day when I quaked, that dog laughed and then said,

“Get those fears that you have out of heart and of head!”

So I laughed and reached over to pet him—no harm?

And he snarled and he lunged and he tore off my arm!

Words from a Teacher's Past, 93

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #19: (a) scandal, (b) syndrome

The scandal broke—yes, front-page news:

The crime, the accusations, clues—

Oh, some of us would pay our dues!

I have that famous syndrome, Yo,

That deals with grinding guilt, and so

I will confess … reap what I sow. 

So off I went—a stupid male
(Though they had all believed my tale)—

And spent a lot of time in jail

Words from a Teacher's Past, 92

Back at it. I've (mostly) recovered from a respiratory infection that knocked me out for nearly two weeks.

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #18: (i) preliminary, (j) surmise

Preliminary scores came back—

I didn’t do too well.

In fact my teachers cried and cried—

Then locked me in a cell.

I sit here in the dark right now—

With useless, weeping eyes.

They must be disappointed is

The best I can surmise.

Words from a Teacher's Past, 91

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #18: (g) vigilant, (h) nocturnal

You really must be vigilant

When you are on a tiger hunt.

They are, you know, nocturnal beasts—

And really like their night-time feasts.

And danger dwells in every roar—

And you know what a roar is for?

To let you know that things aren’t fine—

And that a tiger’s soon to dine!

Words from a Teacher's Past, 90

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #18: (e) assail, (f) defiance

If I show some defiance, then

I know that you will then assail

My character—my name. And when

(Or if) I live to tell my tale,

I’ll speak about your violence—

Your cruel inhumanity,

And people will believe me since

You haven’t victimized just me.

Words from a Teacher's Past, 89

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #18: (c) anguish, (d) shroud

I felt such anguish when I saw

That dark and poignant shroud.

I knew the thing was there for me—

I rose into a cloud.

And when I woke, I realized

That I was in a crib.

No! I am starting up again—

Again, I’ll wear a bib!

Again, I’ll eat that Gerber’s stuff—

I’ll wear those diapers, too.

Why can’t I just be dead again—

Much easier to do!

Words from a Teacher's Past, 88

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #18: (a) loathe, (b) insubordination

We loathe your attitude, you know?

Your insubordination grates.

You’re arrogant—you love to crow

About how you win all debates.

So I’d suggest some time away—

Take one of your expensive cars.

If you insist that you will stay,

One punch of mine—you’ll visit Mars!

Words from a Teacher's Past, 87

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #17: (i) discrepancy, (j) concession

“I see there’s a discrepancy,”

The banker then declared to me.

“But I’ll make no concession, for

I am a dull, unyielding bore.”

“You need,” I said, “to have more fun,”

And then it was I pulled my gun.

“I see your point,” the banker croaked.

“It’s just a water gun,” I joked.

Too late it was—the die was cast.

And I got rich—oh, very fast!

Words from a Teacher's Past, 86

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #17: (g) haughty, (h) consternation

Oh, please don’t be so haughty, Sam—

And don’t forget just who I am.

Your look of consternation now?

You’re thinking how I might, somehow,

Remember what a chainsaw’s for—

Oh, feel the pain! Oh, hear the roar!

Yes, tremble now—it’s no disgrace!

My name, you know, is Leatherface!

Words from a Teacher's Past, 85

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #17: (e) perpetual, (f) partition

His love for her—perpetual.

He felt excitement—nothing dull.

Your life you can’t partition, for

Your doing so is such a bore.

So, live and love and hold the fort—

And you’ll not end up in a court.

Words from a Teacher's Past, 84

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #17: (c) serene, (d) speculation

It’s just a speculation, but

I think you’re so serene

Because of what you’re smoking—and

You know just what I mean!

It wouldn’t matter all that much—

As you most surely know—

If you were in some grounded job—

But you’re a pilot, Yo!

Words from a Teacher's Past, 83

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #17: (a) cryptic, (b) arrogant

Don’t be too cryptic in your speech—

The audience you need to reach—

And some are fragile as a peach.

And some of them are arrogant—

And think that they are heaven-sent—

Will try to start an argument.

So keep it short—and keep it sane.

If so, I think that, once again,

You will succeed, come shine or rain!

Words from a Teacher's Past, 82

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #16: (i) ascertain, (j) allusion

I could not ascertain the cause

Of your belief in Santa Claus.

You made a strange allusion to

A famous poem I once knew:

“A Visit from St. Nicholas”—

You said, “It’s speaking—just to us.”

Uh, no, let’s not be weird and wild—

It’s written for the little child

That lives inside us, all our days—

That kid who laughs and loves and plays.

But now you’re so much older, Yo …

It’s time to lose the “Ho! Ho! Ho!”

True, I’ve not lost it, but you should:

You’re too intense to do much good!

Words from a Teacher's Past, 81

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #16: (g) obliterate, (h) gratified

You can’t obliterate the past—

As much as you’d be gratified.

The lesson is: The past will last—

With that you must be satisfied.

Words from a Teacher's Past, 80

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #16: (e) incoherent, (f) locality

You seem so incoherent now—

Do you know our locality?

I wish that I could help somehow—

But you seem out of it to me.

It’s weird, I know, this talk of ours—

But things are just in such a mess.

Yes, on and on we’ve talked for hours—

And you are just my GPS!

Words from a Teacher's Past, 79

“Words, words, words.”

—    Hamlet (2.2)

List #16: (c) surpass, (d) contrive

You can’t surpass what he has done—

There really is no way.

I mean, the dude devoured a duck,

Its bill and feathers. Say,

Could he contrive a tale like that?

Just trying to impress?

I think he did: There is no way

He’d tolerate such … mess.