Namely, 108

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­

108: paisley: a material of brightly colored abstract design featuring teardrop-shaped swirls (from a town in southern Scotland—a textile center; earliest known use, 1790)

My wife made me a paisley tie—

I wore it often (grateful guy)

And wish to wear it when I die.

There in my cemetery plot

My friends will like it—quite a lot—

My wife has said it makes me “hot.”

And “hot” is useful in the ground,

Where it is cold (no heat around).

And since toward the grave we’re bound,

And since there is no thermostat,

You must dress “hot”—that’s where it’s at!

And that’s the answer to all that!

Namely, 107

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­

107: ottoman: a soft upholstered footstool (from Italian ottomans—“Ottoman,” the Turkish royal family established by Osman, 1259–1326, sultan of Turkey, 1281–1325; first known use, 1605)

I commandeered the ottoman

(I do it every chance I can)

So I could watch the game that day.

But my poor TV said, “No way!”

And died right there in front of me—

Oh, what a dire (!) calamity!

I kicked away the ottoman

(I am a most devoted fan

Of our pro team—“We’re Number One!”)

And looked and wondered what I’d done.

The ottoman was crying there!

And sobbed to me, “You just don’t care

About a thing except the game—

Oh, I could call you such a name!”

And then I must have realized

I’d hurt him—and apologized.

And he forgave me—now we’re friends,

And that’s how fractured friendship mends.

Namely, 106

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­

106: Oscar: the annual awards for the best performances by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (from an offhand remark by the secretary of AMPAS: “He reminds me of my Uncle Oscar”—that is, Oscar Pierce, US wheat farmer and fruit grower; first known use, 1931)

She won an Oscar every year—

The judges were dismayed.

“How could this happen?” they all asked.

“We feel that we’ve been played.”

It seems that she had hacked the site

Where members got to vote,

And so the judges put her on

A very special boat

That had a very special leak—

They never found her bones,

For she had floated deep below—

Where she met Davy Jones.

Namely, 105

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­

105: orrery: a mechanical model of the solar system (from Charles Boyle, Fourth Earl of Orrery, 1676-1731, for whom one of the first was made; first known use, 1713)

Oh, I was thrilled: He gave to me

A brand-new, awesome orrery.

I saw the planets all arranged—

Though Pluto, as you know, has changed:

It’s not a planet anymore—

And Disney’s dog barks, “Oh, what for?

A planet once was named for me—

And now that’s all just … history!?”

Namely, 104

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­

104: nemesis: the source of damage, harm, or destruction; strong, inevitable retribution; an opponent or other threat that cannot be escaped or defeated (from Nemesis, the Greek goddess of retribution; first known use, 1561)

He begged, “Oh, please, oh, please, dear miss,

Just marry me!” He tried to kiss

Her—went awry: Yes, lips can miss!

She screamed, “You are my nemesis!

There is no chance for married bliss!”

And then she heard an angry hiss.

He pulled a knife (yes—army, Swiss).

And, later, she would reminisce:

He’d tripped and fallen—deep abyss.

And that, my friends? The end of this!

Namely, 103

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­

103: namby-pamby: weak and sentimental, insipid, childishly simple (from a disparaging imitation of a childish pronunciation of Ambrose Phillips, 1675–1749, author of sentimental poems for and about children; earliest known use, 1745)

His namby-pamby attitude

Caused others to disdain the guy.

He was a little bit like food

That no one wants—and that’s no lie.

He sort of lay there on the plate,

Ignored by all (who ate the rest).

His was a dreary, lonely fate—

That most unwelcome drippy guest.

We need, I know, more empathy

For namby-pamby characters.

They are lot like you and me—

But you and I are amateurs!

Namely 102

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­

102: myrmidon: a lackey—someone who carries out orders obediently without question (from the Myrmidons, a belligerent people of Thessaly who followed Achilles into the Trojan War; earliest known use, 15^th century)

“Oh, you are such a myrmidon!”

He barked at me today.

And I was very puzzled, and

Did not know what to say.

“So why say such a thing to me?”

I said then in reply,

“For there is no one else on earth

As pioneer as I.”

“You bore me, Daniel Boone,” he said.

“You and your coonskin cap.

To me it’s just a costume, dude—

A silly bunch of crap!”

And so I showed some leadership:

I took my flintlock out.

And he got up and ran away—

And that’s what that’s about!

Namely, 101

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­

101: milquetoast: a meek, timid, unassertive man (from Caspar Milquetoast, a comic-strip character created by Harold Tucker Webster, 1885–1952; first known use, 1935)

“You’re such a milquetoast!” she declared—

She shook her head with much disgust—

And all the time her fangs were bared—

For angry bears do what they must.

The male bear did what all males do

When so confronted with mate-rage:

He turned the game on—had no clue

His game was over (not too sage).

Before he realized—too late!

She’d chomped upon a crucial vein.

And so he met his ursine fate.

She sought a new mate—once again.

Namely, 100

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­

100: Mickey Finn: a drink with knock-out drops in it (from, perhaps, an actual Mickey Finn, Chicago saloon-keeper at the end of the 19^th century; first known use, 1918)

She slipped the dude a Mickey Finn—

And he passed out till who knows when?

While he was out, she bought a car—

And drove away—oh, very far.

When he woke up, saw she was gone,

He cried, “Well, what’s been going on!?!”

He hired a private eye to check—

It’s kinda dumb … but what the heck?

The private eye did not come back—

He’d found her, had a heart attack.

So our poor friend just lived in woe—

And hoped she would return, you know?

Then one day she pulled in the drive.

And he was thrilled—she’s still alive!

She slipped the dude a Mickey Finn—

And he passed out till who knows when?

While he was out, she bought a car …

You know the rest—oh, so bizarre.

Namely, 99

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­

99: meander: to follow a wandering course—to wander aimlessly (from the Ancient Greek river Maiandros in Phrygia—and now Menderes River in western Turkey, noted for its many complex windings; earliest known use, 1599)

Leander thought he could meander—

Learned that he should not.

He did a lot of swimming, Yo—

Ignored what he was taught.

Poseidon wasn’t thrilled a bit—

He nearly drowned the dude.

To gods it never really pays

To act a little rude.

Still, Hero was across the way—

It took a swim to meet.

And so he swam and so he earned

His most marine defeat.

Namely, 98

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­

98: maverick: an uncontrollable individualist, nonconformist (from Samuel Augustus Maverick (1803–70, American cattleman who never branded his cows; whenever his neighbors picked up strays, they called them “Maverick’s”; first known use, 1867)

You know that guy? That guy named Rick?

Well, he is such a maverick.

He now sits backwards at his desk—

And that’s a little bit grotesque?

His bed’s the kitchen countertop—

And he eats Cheerios nonstop.

He watches YouTube videos

About how all that skunk weed grows.

He eats his ice cream with a fork—

I tell you: Rick is such a dork!

Oh, one more thing—he wears no shoes.

He’s learned so many ways to lose.

[an hour later]

Cool Rick just saved me from assault—

I’ll buy my bro a chocolate malt!

Namely, 97

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­

97: mausoleum: an above-ground burial chamber (from King Mausolus—died ca. 395 BCE—ruler of Caria in Ancient Greece, best known for his tomb, one of the Seven Wonders of the ancient world; first known use, 15^th century)

Bobby loved the mausoleum—

Dead folks there—he couldn’t see ’em.

And, of course, he couldn’t free ’em.

Enemies then tried to con him—

Wanted him to be a gone-him.

Mausoleum door closed on him.

Bobby faced an endless night, Yo.

No light there—and no place to go.

Life was slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow.

Namely, 96

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­

96: maudlin: overly sentimental, uncontrollably tearful (from a corruption of Mary Magdalene, who wept at the empty tomb after the resurrection of Jesus; first known use, 1509)

“I think you’re being maudlin, Dear”—

She said these very words to me—

I listened to them tearfully,

Went to the fridge and got a beer.

That was not, well, the wisest thing

That in our marriage I had done.

But I love beer—I drank it—fun!

She left me—and her wedding ring.

Namely, 95

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­

95: masochism: the enjoyment of pain (from psychologist Richard von Krafft-Ebbing, who based this word on the name of Leopoldo von Sacher-Masoch (1835–1895), Austrian author of the novel Venus in Furs about the enjoyment of pain; first known use, 1892)

Well, masochism was his game—

His specialty in life (I heard).

In fact, it’s how he made his name—

And here is how the thing occurred:

He found a wire-brush at the store—

And accidentally scraped his hand.

He loved it. So he scraped some more—

Then earned his boss’ reprimand.

But he ignored what his boss said—

And scraped away with great delight—

Until, I fear, the dude was dead:

That scraping just had felt so right!

Namely, 94

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­

94: martinet: a rigid disciplinarian who demands absolute adherence to rules and regulations (from Jean Martinet, a French army officer during the reign of Louis XIV; first known use of the word, 1737)

Avoid that teacher—martinet!

The roughest guy that you could get.

You wouldn’t last too long, I bet.

He has a bullwhip in his class—

And uses it to whup some ass.

There is no way that you can pass—

Well, not, at least, with any joy.

He kills it for each girl and boy—

Their backs all look like corduroy.

So my advice? Just stay away.

Sign up for someone else today—

I also hate his green toupee!

Namely, 93

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­

93: mansard [MAN-sard] roof: a roof with two slopes, the lower one steeper than the upper (from François Mansart (1598–1666), French classical architect; first known use, ca. 1734)

The roof was mansard—very steep.

I should have taken care

When I climbed up to figure out

The source of noise up there.

I saw an eagle eating flesh—

I think I gagged, then frowned.

The eagle took one look at me—

I slipped and hit the ground.

And so I lie here in my bed—

Perhaps this pain will pass?

The eagle perches right outside

And stares through window glass.

Mansart--on the left