Namely, 82

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­

82: laconic: sparing of words, made up of few words, terse (from the region of Laconia—Latin: Laconia—in southern Greece whose capital was Sparta and whose inhabitants were famous for  their laconic speech; first known use of word, 1589)

He had not liked love platonic—

But he was a bit laconic—

Had to find a certain tonic

That would cure him right away so

He could talk a lot in combo

With a woman like a rainbow—

Colorful and bright and sexy—

Wouldn’t suffer apoplexy

When he grew all warm and flexy.

Potion failed, I’m sad to share now—

Made him drowsy, sleepy (somehow)—

She just sighed and raised an eyebrow.

Namely, 81

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­

81: knickers: in U.S., pants with legs cut off and gathered just below the knee, often worn by golfers; in U.K., women’s underpants (from knickerbockers, for the family Knickerbocker in the fictitious History of New York by Washington Irving, 1783–1859, shown wearing baggy pants with legs gathered just below the knee in the illustrations by George Cruikshank; first known use of the word, 1820)

I stood there just eating Snickers—

Saw the future, wearing knickers.

She was eating Milky Way, but

I still thought ’twas open and shut—

I knew she was born for me, Yo.

I walked over, said, “Hello, so

Why are you here on this sidewalk?”

“Saw you—knew that we should soon talk.”

So we talked for ever after—

Floor to ceiling—even rafter.

Sometimes sharing candy bars, yes!

Many children—always recess!

Namely, 80

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­

80: klieg light: a carbon arc lamp used in movie-making (from John H., 1869–1959, and Anton T. Kleigl, 1872–1927, American motion picture lighting experts; first known use of word, 1919)

The klieg lights blazed, the actors stood

Right where the script said that they should.

And then they did the best they could.

Who could have guessed the lights would fall?

Would smash the actors, one and all?

That each would earn a funeral pall?

But so it goes in GlitterLand—

You must be careful where you stand,

For things don’t always go as planned!

Namely, 79

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­

79: Kafkaesque/kafkaesque: irrational and terrifying (from Frank Kafka, 1883–1924, Czech author of bizarre stories—The Trial, The Metamorphosis, etc.; first known use of word, 1939)

The whole thing seemed so kafkaesque—

Bizarre and weird and so grotesque.

That buzzard nesting with a hawk?

Oh, how the other birds will talk!

The buzzard said, “It’s really neat:

He kills the things, and then I eat!”

The hawk said, “I could wish no more—

I eat my fill; he cleans the gore.”

So … symbiosis—that’s the case.

Each helps the other—no disgrace.

A benefit for both the birds!

No need for any further words!

Namely, 78

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­

78: July: the seventh month of the year, between June and August (from Julius Caesar, died in 44 BCE, the Roman general and emperor; first known use of the word,  ca. 1599)

It was a long-ago July

When I met Joyce, who’d be my wife.

Oh, I was such a lucky guy—

An accident that changed my life.

But accident—a feeble word

For that chance meeting long ago.

The Phoenix just another bird?

Oh, you know that just isn’t so!

So—ever since, I’ve loved July,

A month when Chance gave me a gift.

The years since then have seemed to fly—

Oh, why must happiness be swift?

Namely, 77

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­­

77: jovial: happy, amiable, jocular (from Jove, the English for Jovialis, an alternative name for Jupiter, supreme god of Roman mythology, considered to be the source of all happiness; first known use of the word, 1592)

“How dare you be so jovial!”

I heard an odd voice cry.

“Today is sad—at least pretend!

You really have to try!”

“So what’s so sad about today?”

I asked into the void.

I tried some mere psychology—

Somewhat like Sigmund Freud.

“Today,” I heard the voice again,

Is really sad for me:

For school vacation starts today—

And that is misery!”

“You’re mad!” I cried. “Completely mad!

I love vacation days!”

The voice just laughed—then added this:

“You have such stupid ways!

“For classes are the things I love

Above all other things!

And I just dread that moment when

The final school bell rings!”

And so I realized, at last,

This voice that brought such pain:

That voice spoke total nonsense, and

The speaker was insane!

And then I thought of one more thing—

That solved the mystery:

That voice, of course, was not a ghost;

It came from inside me!

Namely, 76

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­­

76: jackanapes: an impudent or mischievous person (from Jack Napis, nickname of William de la Pole, Fourth Earl and First Duke of Suffolk, 1396–1450; first known use of word, ca. 1529)

“You jackanapes!” he barked at me.

“You’ve really got a lot of nerve—

And will receive what creeps deserve!”

I snickered oh so flippantly.

“You think that this is funny, Yo?

Well, I have got a dark surprise!”

I looked into his angry eyes—

And figured it was time to go.

But I left late—so sad to say.

For he had pulled his Bowie knife

And quickly ended my sad life.

So there upon the ground I lay—

Until I heard some jingle bells—

And looked and saw old Santa’s sleigh!

The gift of life! It came today!

I heard no more of funeral knells!

Namely, 75

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­­

75: iris: a beautiful tuber plant with large, multicolored flowers growing on a single stem (from Iris, Greek goddess of the rainbow; first known use of word, 15^th century)

They named her Iris—just because

She was a lovely flower child.

And she loved flowers, and she was,

I hear, a girl who grew a little … wild.

But still they loved her—through it all.

And when they both grew very old,

They waited for her nightly call—

And cherished it, if truth be told.

But more years passed—and all things changed.

Her parents simply were no more.

And Iris’ life was rearranged—

She married—had some kids—yes, four.

And two she named for Mom and Dad,

And two were for her husband’s, so

Their lives went on—the good, the bad—

And this is how all lives must go …

Namely, 74

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­­

74: hooligan: a ruffian, delinquent, mean person who does damage (from a popular music-hall song of the 1890s, which described the doings of a rowdy Irish family named Hooligan—or Patrick Hooligan, an Irish hoodlum in Southwark, London; first known use of the word, 1896)

“Your Honor, I was merely having fun—

I am not such a hooligan!”

“You beat that English teacher, Sir.

So sit back down—right where you were.

“Your punishment? So very hard—

Go off and memorize the Bard—

“Yes, all of it—the sonnets, plays.

And then come back in … 30 days.”

“How can I memorize those works?

That stuff’s for nerds and other jerks!”

“All right!” the judge roared from the bench.

“I guess the time has come to lynch—”

“I’ll learn it!” cried the hooligan.

And so he did—yes, every one.

And he became an English prof—

Because that judge had let him off.

Namely, 73

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­­

73: hector: to pester, bully, push around (from Hector, a Trojan prince and one of the greatest fighters in the Trojan War; first known use of word, 14^th century)

Achilles bullied Hector, Yo.

(Oh, he was such a heel!)

He didn’t care about the way

That Trojan dude would feel.

And so it goes in BullyLand—

The bully doesn’t care.

He’s big; he’s strong; he torments all—

It really isn’t fair.

Until, of course, some decades on—

His heart has grown less cold

But it’s too late—we’ll get revenge

Now that the bully’s old!

Namely, 72

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­­

72: guillotine: a French device for neatly slicing off the heads of people (from Joseph-Ignace Guillotin, 1738–1814, the French physician who invented it; first known use of word, 1790)

“Want to see our guillotine?”

He asked me—such a thoughtful guy.

“And we could give the thing a try?”

He said—and he seemed so serene.

I guess I should have used my head

That day there with the guillotine—

I did not think he’d be so mean!

I sort of used my head … I’m dead!

Namely, 71

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­­

71: grog, groggy: rum or other liquor diluted with water (from grogram—a coarse fabric of silk and mohair or silk and wool—after Sir Edward Vernon, 1684–1757, British admiral known as “old Groggy” for wearing a gogram cloak. Later, the word was clipped, and the meaning transferred to the diluted drink he served his sailors; first known use of word, 1756)

I saw last night a little froggy

Who was acting kind of groggy,

So I asked him, “Hey, you, frog, Yo?

Have you been dipping in the grog, Bro?”

Well, I had thought that I joked, see?

But up he hopped and quickly croaked—gee!

Namely, 70

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­­

70: gradgrind: a cold-minded person interested only in facts; a bean-counter (from Thomas Gradgrind, an education official in Charles Dickens’ novel Hard Times, 1854; first known use of word, 1855)

I had some gradgrinds while in school—

And some were simply very mean,

Just one step up from total fool—

Those folks I wish I’d never seen.

But some of them seemed to believe

That being harsh and grim was good.

But just a kid? I could but grieve

And wish with all my heart they would

Get fired.

Quit.

Disappear.

Etc.

Namely, 69

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­­

69: gamp: a large, baggy umbrella (from the umbrella of Mrs. Sarah Gamp, a character in the novel Martin Chuzzlewit, 1844, by Charles Dickens—a novel, by the way, that has scenes in the United States; first known use of word, 1860–65)

So … when the weather grew too damp,

I searched around to find my gamp.

(Did I forget it? Out at camp?)

And so, I fear, I got so wet

I couldn’t go to pay my debt.

(A pretty sad excuse, I bet?)

But, really, do you need a gun?

I’ll pay those thousands—every one.

It’s wet outside! I [One shot—I’m done.]

Namely, 68

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­­

68: gargantuan: huge, enormous, gigantic (from Garguantua, a 1534 satire by François Rebelais (1483–1553; first known use of word, 1596)

His appetite—gargantuan.

His waist size, very thick.

His scale, I heard, gave up in woe—

And claimed that it was sick.

The earth would shake when he walked by—

The sidewalks sway and crack.

But one day he was here no more—

A massive heart attack.

But it was sad, the day he died—

For many loved the man.

So: careful if your appetite

Is too gargantuan!

Namely, 67

NAMELY

eponyms (EP-uh-nimz)

words based on or derived from a person's name.

First Known Use: mid-19^th century

“What’s in a Name?”

Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, 2.2­­

67: Friday: the sixth day of the week, between Thursday and Saturday (from Frig[ga], Norse goddess of marital affection; first known use of word, before 12^th century).

She said she’d be there—Friday night—

But something must have gone amiss:

She didn’t show … the cause of this?

I didn’t know—and felt some fright.

I texted her—and tried her phone—

But nothing happened—no reply—

I was distraught—a worried guy.

On Friday night I was alone.

And then I saw her—over there!

But she was dancing with some dude—

And seemed so happy—and so lewd!

I stalked out in the winter air.

I never heard from her again—

She and that dude got married, Yo.

And that is just how some things go:

Things are not now how things have been!