Around the World in the Good Ship DOGGEREL, 114

A doggerel series about the countries of the world.

Monaco.

Yes, I remember Princess Grace—

Though I’d not heard of Monaco—

When she found Prince (oh, handsome face!)

And left her Hollywood to go

Abroad and wed her wealthy prince.

I’d loved her in High Noon, of course,

But have not thought of her much since

That Gary Cooper used his force.

And Monaco appeared, as well,

In some James Bond flick (but which one?)—

A gambling scene (a Bad Guy fell)—

Those Bond films—always lots of fun.

Well, Monaco—a tiny place—

A dot upon the coast of France.

It’s noted for its motor race—

Casinos where the wealthy dance.

Yes, Monte Carlo! Famous spot

Where gamblers gamble, lounge around

Where all the humans are, well, hot—

And Princess Grace is in the ground.

Around the World in the Good Ship DOGGEREL, 113

A doggerel series about the countries of the world.

Moldova.

It used to be, well, Soviet
(About as rough as it can get)—

Yes, freedom’s better—oh, you bet!

It sits in Eastern Europe, where

Its got some vineyards growing there,

And moderate, the country’s air.

They’ve quite a mix of cultures, too—

And languages (far more than two);

Romanian’s official glue,

The language that’s supposed to bind

(You know—the sharing kind),

But it is not too hard to find

The others spoken by the men

And women there. And who knows when

All will unite? With words their skin?

It’s got some wolf, some badger, boar,

Some wildcat, deer, and many more.

But who on earth is keeping score?

Around the World in the Good Ship DOGGEREL, 112

A doggerel series about the countries of the world.

Micronesia.

A name that sounds a little like

Some kind of weird disease:

A kid—oh, no, poor little boy!—

Who’s born with tiny knees.

But, no, of course, it’s islands that

The name is standing for,

Spread out in the Pacific—oh,

Two thousand islands! More!

Australia lies southwest of them—

A stable chunky place

That has much bigger landmass—but

Small size is no disgrace.

It’s got some strange wild critters there—

On land and in the sea.

They have one thing in common: They

Have never looked at me.

(And probably never will.)

Around the World in the Good Ship DOGGEREL, 111

A doggerel series about the countries of the world.

Mexico.

At last! A place that I have been—

But I’m not certain, you know, when.

I don’t think dotage is a sin?!?

America saw useful land—

And took it—now, ain’t power grand?

The Alamo! Strike up the band!

They’ve had to deal with foreign force—

The Spanish were not good, of course.

The Mayans had complaints, remorse.

The Aztecs, naturally, agree—

But guns and germs and steel (we see)

Defeated locals cruelly.

And now there’s talk—a border wall

(Which makes no sense, no none at all,

For barriers do naught but fall).

Best wishes to our neighbors near—

Ignore those here who foment fear ...

Let's hope for calmer atmosphere.

Around the World in the Good Ship DOGGEREL, 110

A doggerel series about the countries of the world.

Mauritius.

An Indian Ocean island spot—

It’s known for mountain, ridge and reef—

Its Gorges Park (good for relief

When weather there gets much too hot).

Port Louis is the capital—

A parliament is now in sway—

A president as well—no way

They’d like a form more tragical.

It once was French—and then was Dutch—

And independence? ’68.

And though things are not always great—

They know this way is better—much.

It has no mammals (well, just us!),

But some have come by accident—

By merchant ship (or somehow sent)—

But lots of birds (they make a fuss).

And so it’s out there in the sea—

Its islands, beaches, and its parks.

Among the last of my remarks?

I wish a journey there were free!

Around the World in the Good Ship DOGGEREL , 109

A doggerel series about the countries of the world.

Mauritania.

It sounds like music—listen now!—

Does Mauritania.

Though not in some weird vampire way,

Like Transylvania.

It lies in western Africa—

And has an ocean view.

Religion there’s Islamic,

And there’s some oil—woo hoo!

It’s got a jackal, crocodile—

Some tuna off the coast.

(Now tell me: Which of all of these

Would frighten you the most?)

There are some wildcats in the wild—

Some foxes and some seal—

And some of them see other ones

And think about a meal.

But most of it is desert—or

It’s “semi-arid” there.

It’s flat—some dunes and some plateaus

Rise in the desert air.

Some movies have employed the land

For desert kinds of sets.

Bruce Willis starred on one of them*—

As awesome as it gets?!

*The Fifth Element (1997)

Around the World in the Good Ship DOGGEREL, 108

A doggerel series about the countries of the world.

Marshall Islands.

Way out in the Pacific lies

This chain of islands many know.

Old ships beneath the water, Yo,

Now giving divers diving highs.

They lie near the equator—these

Sweet islands of volcanoes born.

Imperial powers (power’s porn!)

Once gave them up (no “pretty please”),

And now they’re independent—yes!

There is some farming, fishing there.

And coconuts are everywhere

A pygmy killer whale, so guess

What interests people much the more?

A whale or common coconuts?

(The former—no if’s, and’s, or buts:

A killer whale is not a bore!)

They’ve got some turtles, dolphins too—

Some sea birds that look pretty weird—

But nothing there that’s to be feared.

So a retirement place for you?

Around the World in the Good Ship DOGGEREL, 107

A doggerel series about the countries of the world.

Malta.

It lies there in that famous sea—*

The one that I once got to see.

(Yes, I know my geography!)

It is an archipelago—

A bunch of islands (as you know)—

They’re full of ancient history, Yo.

It split from England—’64.

Republic now (you know the score)

And hopes it stays so, evermore.

There are no rivers, are no lakes

That stay year ’round (oh, such mistakes?!)—

So Maltese know just what it takes

To save the water when it rains—

On hill and dale, plateau and plains.

(Conserving things? Takes thoughtful brains!)

It’s got some lizards, got a shrew—

And taming it is hard to do.

Enough for me! Oh, how ’bout you?

*Mediterranean

Around the World in the Good Ship DOGGEREL, 106

A doggerel series about the countries of the world.

Mali.

Another landlocked country that’s

In Africa—the west.

The capital is Bamako—

Its cotton is the best.

They’ve got some gold mines (not so bad!)—

And water-power, too.

The elephants and hippos there

Do not have much to do:

They are consigned to pleasant parks

Because of farming land

(You do not want wild animals

To get much out of hand!)

And 1960 was the year

That independence came

From France. And ever since, you know,

It’s not at all the same.

There’s something about freedom, and

Dear independent ways.

I’m guessing (since I’ve not been there)

That now are brighter days.

Around the World in the Good Ship DOGGEREL, 105

A doggerel series about the countries of the world.

Maldives.

It sounds like a description of

Some seedy malls that we don’t love.*

But, no—some Indian Ocean isles

That stretch along for miles and miles.

A thousand coral islands (plus)

Compose the country we discuss.

And Male is its capital—

It rhymes with “molly”—nothing dull

About these islands. Coral reefs

Are here and there. And folks’ beliefs

Are varied (as you might surmise

In such a place, below such skies).

The money flows from tourists there—

Who love the beaches, sultry air.

Most other enterprises—small.

Though fishing’s good. No crystal ball

Is needed for us to perceive

That climate change (if you believe)

Will flood the islands and efface

All signs of us—our careless race.

*mall-dives

Around the World in the Good Ship DOGGEREL, 104

A doggerel series about the countries of the world.

Malaysia.

The cultures there are varied—mixed;

The country has me so transfixed.

Religions there are varied, too.

(Oh, something must be right for you!)

So many love its beaches white—

But some are worried: jungle fright!

It’s got some tiger, leopard, boar—

And crocodile (oh, lots of lore)—

And elephant and jaguar—yikes!

And crocodiles hold deep dislikes.

There are two massive towers there—

They slice up through Malaysian air.

So there you see it all writ large—

The towers show that man’s in charge …

Until, you know, a tiger …

Around the World in the Good Ship DOGGEREL, 103

A doggerel series about the countries of the world.

Malawi.

Southeastern Africa. And there

It is! Malawi is the name.

Its parks are full of varied game—

Diverse as it is anywhere.

It’s landlocked there—and very small.

Though Lake Malawi is a spot

That critters go when it gets hot—

Yes, lions, rhinos, zebras—all!

Its independence—’64.

That’s when it broke from the UK.

It’s democratic now (best way!).

But many there are very poor.

It’s had an awful time with AIDS—

A modern plague—the grimmest kind—

And still the search is on to find

A cure so that all sorrow fades.

The Great Rift Valley—north to south—

Tobacco is a major crop.

Its coffee? Well, for me—the top—

My drug of preference for my mouth!

Malaysia.

Around the World in the Good Ship DOGGEREL, 102

A doggerel series about the countries of the world.

Madagascar.

It’s off the coast of Africa—

Southeastern is the spot.

And as you very well might guess,

The weather can be hot!

It has a lot of wildlife that

You can’t see everywhere

It’s got some lemurs—comet moths—

A gecko that can stare!

As islands go, it’s very large—

Among the biggest, Yo.

And it’s a place that fauna-folks

So dearly love to go.

In 1960, it was free—

No more a part of France.

And in the streets, or so I’d guess,

Were music, wine, and dance!

There are some mountains—some plateaus—

Some grasslands there, as well.

Oh, it’s a place I’d love to see—

As if you couldn’t tell!

Around the World in the Good Ship DOGGEREL, 101

A doggerel series about the countries of the world.

Macedonia.

It’s a name we associate—Alex the Great,

Who once conquered a lot before facing his fate.

Yes, our Great Alex died—he was but 32.

And he failed to complete what he wanted to do.

And right now in the Balkans this country now sits—

It is landlocked and so gives the sea-bathers fits.

Though it has some great lakes and great rivers as well—

And some history that’s long—oh, so long I can’t tell.

It seceded (oh, peacefully)—year: ’99.

And since then, so it seems, everything has been fine.

And the mountains are home to some wolf, bear, and lynx—

But I doubt that you’ll find a gorilla or sphinx!

All in all it’s a place that has much to admire—

And no more must you call anyone “lord” or “sire.”

So it’s time, I would think, to get offa my butt,

To remove my poor self from habitual rut …

And visit Macedonia.

Around the World in the Good Ship DOGGEREL, 100

A doggerel series about the countries of the world.

Luxembourg.

It’s kind of crunched there in among

Those European ones—

Yes, Belgium, France, and Germany—

Those bright historic suns.

It’s known for its medieval spots—

For forests green and grand—

The Moselle Valley—it’s a trip

In very high demand.

But, oh, it is a tiny spot—

Among the smallest—true.

It is, I’ve read, Rhode Island size—

But still there’s lots to do.

The mammals there are limited—

Some deer and boar remain.

Oh—and, of course, the humans, too—

Who have the larger brain.

(Or so we claim.)

Around the World in the Good Ship DOGGEREL, 99

A doggerel series about the countries of the world.

Lithuania.

It’s in the southern Baltics—it’s

The southernmost of all.

It broke (USSR)

In ’90—heard the call

Of independence. It’s the call

That’s loudest in all parts:

It resonates in ears and minds—

And animates our hearts.

The climate there is moderate—

And even somewhat mild—

And roaming through the forests there

Are wolves—oh, yeah, they’re wild!

And deer, and elk, and mink, as well—

Oh, quite a motley crew!

A few things you can kill and eat,

And one that can eat you!