Fauna Foolery, 22

Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Goose on the Loose

The goose escaped--annoyed Reynard,

Who did not want it loose,

Rey lured it back with druggy seeds—

Thus Rey out-foxed the goose.

Fauna Foolery, 21

Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Thief Relief

Exterminator Tony was

The thief, there was no doubt.

So colleague Taylor, noticing,

Soon ratted Tony out. 

Fauna Foolery, 20

Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Mickey’s Mousing

The final chocolate cookie was

There on the window ledge,

But Mickey—curse his murine soul!—

Had moused around its edge. 

Fauna Foolery, 19

Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Hairy Tale

Old Porky had so little hair

He chose to go get wigged.

But at the picnic people laughed,

So pissed-off Porky pigged. 

Fauna Foolery, 18

Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Not a Faint Complaint

The restaurant was expensive, but

My entrée? Barely cooked.

And so I told the maître d’:

“I think that I've been rooked!”

Fauna Foolery, 17

Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Not in My Cups at the Auction

To me the golden chalice looked

To be a phony cup,

And so—despite temptation—I

Refused to pony up. 

Fauna Foolery, 16

Animal nouns we use as verbs.

By the Surprising Shore

The shorebird—very, very rare—

Stood posing by the sea.

And Ichabod, so dazzled, stopped,

And craned his neck to see. 

Fauna Foolery, 15

Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Bugs, Reading

So, reading Sinclair Lewis, Bugs

Was feeling fully Babbitted.

“There’s Elmer Fudd! He’s got a gun!”

So Bugs hopped up and rabbited. 

Fauna Foolery, 14

Animal nouns we use as verbs.

A Lot of Bull

T. Orro had no subtlety—

Not that he ever tried.

If he saw doors were shut and locked,

He bulled his way inside. 

Fauna Foolery, 13

Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Byrd Song

So, Richard Byrd was so displeased—

He nearly had a fit.

The polar world was much too cold,

And so Byrd groused a bit. 

Fauna Foolery, 12

Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Sucker

“I don’t care who you are,” I said.

“And though I hate to preach:

You borrow and you borrow—you’ve

Perfected how to leech!”

Fauna Foolery, 11

Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Too-Tall Ballgame

He loomed above us—very tall.

Repeatedly, he dunked.

And when the game was over, we

Knew why we just got skunked. 

Fauna Foolery, 10

Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Big Bird

The bird was huge—gigantic. There

Was no way to ignore him.

And then he landed next to me,

And I just quailed before him.

Fauna Foolery, 9

Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Fate’s Arrival in a Dodge

I was driving in my truck

When Fate arose and damned me.

I saw another truck approach—

And then it really rammed me.

Fauna Foolery, 8

Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Skeeter-Meter

Skeeter wanted to be friends—he

Always cried and hugged me.

I just couldn't like him, though—cuz

Skeeter really bugged me.

Fauna Foolery, 7

Animal nouns we use as verbs.

Stephen and His Birds

Stephen’s with his hunting birds, and

While we two are talking,

I just ask him, "What is up?" and

Stephen says, “I’m hawking.”

Fauna Foolery, 6

Animal nouns used as verbs.

Gary’s Foolish Move

He took a gander at her in

That very crowded space.

He tried to goose her. ‘Round she swirled

And slapped his startled face. 

Fauna Foolery, 5

Animal nouns used as verbs ...

Fierce Fido

A guy named Fido bothers me—

I am not very brave.

His hassling and bullying

Will dog me to my grave.

Fauna Foolery, 4

Animal nouns we use as verbs ...

Taking a Gander

The gander saw the fence’s rails—

He seemed down on his luck.

But when he reached the lowest rail,

I saw that gander duck.

He showed a grace that geese somehow

Do not always display,

So I applauded from the street—

And waddled on my way.

Fauna Foolery, 3

Dave’s Preview

He’d hoped to have a preview of

What happened when he died.

And so he bought a coffin, and

He wormed his way inside. 

Fauna Foolery, 2

Animal nouns we use as verbs. 

Pisces Paul

Paul was a Pisces—through and through—

In myriads of ways.

He loved receiving compliments—

And often fished for praise. 

Fauna Foolery, 1

Animal nouns we use as verbs. 

Charming Roy

Roy was a charmer—there's no doubt. 
He really knew his part. 
He slithered right into her life—
And snaked into her heart. 

Head Lines, 20

Head Line Deadline

Your days of reading now are free

Of all this daily dread:

I have no further doggerel

About the human head!

Head Lines 19

Magic Bob

So Bob, who had a magic nob,

Was also something of a slob.

(Disgusting! Eating corn on cob!)

At work he did a crummy job.

But Bob employed his magic nob

To help a woman lost in sob.

His Kleenex helped her eyes to daub.

She married him! Oh, happy Bob!

Head Lines, 18

Ladue’s Lament

Ladue had such a bulbous bulb

It swayed there on his neck.

A living tulip was Ladue—

His love life was a wreck:

Whenever he would lean to kiss

A lover on her lips,

Their heads would crack together—so

They never came to grips. 

Head Lines, 17

Nursery Rhyme

Dan and Joyce went up the hill

To fetch a pail of water.

Dan fell down and broke his crown

And Joyce came laughing after.

(Not.)

(First, she made sure he was okay.)

(Not.)

(She’s never laughed like this.)

(Neither have I.)

(Not.) 

Head Lines, 16

Upstairs with Dobie

Dobie was a wacky guy—he

Often was erratic.

Dobie had some flooring loose—a

Most unstable attic. 

Head Lines, 15

Tough Tim

“Hard-headed” was the term for Tim—

He often got a thwack.

But harmless, for he had a nut

That was too hard to crack. 

Head Lines, 14

Sean's Scabby Request

Sean pointed to his thinning hair—

He wanted me to palp

Some kind of oozing sore upon

His peeling, nasty scalp.

(It was gross.

So I didn’t.)